A lot of people are worried about the economy--and with good reason. But the media isn't helping. Yesterday the stock market "crashed," and all the news outlets reported that the Dow recorded the biggest one-day point drop in the history of the world. Great news. Bad math.

While it's true that the Dow fell 777 points, it began at 11,142. This means that the average fell about 7%. Compare that to Black Thursday (Oct. 24, 1929), where the Dow fell about 13%, a drop almost twice as large as yesterday's. By November 11, 1929, the market had fallen over 40%. In order to see a similar drop today, the Dow would need to fall to 6685 by mid-October. Now that would signal a disaster.

Furthermore, big drops in the Dow don't necessarily indicate impending financial collapse. On Oct. 19,1987, also known at Black Monday, the average fell almost 23%. As you'll recall, there was no "Great Depression" of the late 80's. (In fact, stocks rallied and posted a record gain the very next day).

The point of all this is that these may seem like difficult economic times, and things are harder than they have been in the past few years, but life in the United States is still good, no great. We have food; we have shelter; we have all the IPhones money can buy. How's this for difficult economic times: the unemployment rate in Zimbabwe is currently estimated to be 85% (6.1% in the US), with an inflation rate of 10,000,000% (the next highest inflation rate is Burma, at about 40%). Try buying an IPhone when they cost $3,000,000,000 (that's 3 billion with a B), and you don't have a job.

Yesterday I was working out when the doorbell rang. There was no one immediately visible when I opened the door, but I peeked around the corner of the doorframe and saw that a smallish man with glassy eyes was standing on the porch. He was holding a half-empty Heineken underneath crossed arms, and his breath smelled a lot like the drink wasn't his first of the day. In an Caribbean accent that I couldn't quite place, he slurred, "I'mmm frommm nexxxt dooorr, annd I waas jusst wonder-ring ... doo youu haave a blaack annd white caat? Because itt's a nice caat, buut sometimessss it bugss mee. Look, it'sss righttt there inn my yarddd." He pointed to a cat-sized rock in his yard. Interesting. I looked at the rock for awhile and finally decided, "Nope, that's not ours. We do have three cats, but they stay inside all the time. Our other neighbor might have a cat, but I don't know." To which narrowed his eyes and replied, "Whaatever," as he sauntered back to his porch with a gate that made me wonder if he might have a wooden leg.

In other news, I'm never letting our cats outside--too many pirates around here.

This week, in the classes that I teach, the first assignment of the semester was due. For some reason, a few students always have trouble with figuring out what to do. Since the directions for the assignment are expressly laid out in the textbook in five bullet points, I usually say something like,

"For the love of all that's good in the world, please read the directions and then follow them exactly. It's really important that you do, because some of them are really easy, and I would hate to have to take points away for something silly. For example, look at point number two. It says, 'For one point (out of ten), staple or paperclip everything together.' So, please, please, whatever you do, staple or paperclip all your pages together. That way, I won't feel like a jerk for taking off points for something stupid, and you'll get all your points."

I had this conversation three times:

Student: I don't have a staple.
Me: I'm sorry to hear that.
Student: What should I do?
Me: It's actually totally up to you.
Student: (Confused look) So it's okay if I turn it in?
Me: (smiling/blank expression)
Student: So should I just put my name on everything?
Me: (smiling/blank expression)
Student: (Annoyed look, turns in unstapled paper and leaves)
Me: Have a good day!

Not everyone should go to college.

Yesterday I was at school from 8:30 AM to 8:30 PM. Tomorrow I'll be there from 7 AM to 7 PM. I don't really have any comments about these data, I just thought you should know. Something else you should know? The word "data" is indeed plural (see usage above). Datum is singular. Correct usage = "The data show that..." Incorrect usage = "The data shows that..." That is all.

Revealing thought of the day: The cats frequently make me sneeze. For retribution, I sneeze on them whenever possible.

Yesterday, I was teaching a class in a computer room in the library. The assignment was for the students to use PsychInfo, a database of scientifically-oriented articles related to psychology, to find two scientific articles that were related to both psychology and some interest of theirs (e.g., about sports psychology, motivation, emotion, whatever). When everyone was working on this, a student called me over to her computer and said, "I'm not finding the kind of articles I want." I looked at her search terms. They were "sexuality," "sexual attractiveness," and "sex." As her results showed 817 scientific articles, I wondered two things: (a) what was it, exactly, that she was hoping to find, and (b) whether she would be smart enough to finish this particular search in a dark room at home.

I have a few minutes before I have to leave for my 7AM meeting, and I thought I'd share a quick story. I've don't know my new students very well yet, but I'm becoming familiar with one of them pretty quickly. On the first day of class, he came a few minutes late. No big deal. He wasn't wearing shoes. No big deal. And he was carrying a glass of beer. I knew it was beer because I said, "So ... that must be apple juice, right?" To which he replied, "If you want it to be." Big deal? I'm not really sure...

Yesterday, he asked me, "Hey, how hard do you think it would be to nab a bike from Wal-Mart?" (As in, steal.) More on him as things develop.

Probably because the media streams it into every waking moment of my consciousness (metaphorically speaking, of course), I've been thinking a lot about the upcoming presidential election. I've come to the following conclusions.

1. John McCain is not my ideal candidate
2. Barack Obama is not my ideal candidate
3. If Barack Obama died in office, Joe Biden would not be likely to do something stupid that might irrevocably alter world history
4. If John McCain died in office, Sarah Palin might do something stupid that would irrevocably alter world history
   
5. John McCain might die in office (old age, disease, disaster, etc.)
   
6. I haven't been convinced to vote for Barack Obama, but I have been convinced that I can't vote for John McCain because of Sarah Palin

Update as of 11:35 AM

Let me clarify: I don't think she's any more intelligent than your average hockey mom, which is exactly who she claims to be. I don't think she's qualified to lead a major city, much less a world superpower (previous experience = short stint as mayor of a town of 9,500 + short stint as governor of a state of 670,00). I don't think she's been entirely honest with the American public (for example, see her comments about her positions on the "Bridge to Nowhere" and "earmarked" funds). I don't think she'd be on the ticket if McCain hadn't wanted to pander to the evangelicals/white, middle-class women.

Personally, I don't feel comfortable with the idea of Palin, or any other hockey mom, presiding over the Senate and having the potential to step in to the most powerful position in the world.

When I suggested that my behaviorally-oriented professors were using too many behavior modification techniques in teaching my classes, I didn't realize that they are actually required to do so by their certifying board.

From the Behavior Analysts Code of Ethical Conduct:

5.07 Providing Behavior Analysis Principles in Teaching

The behavior analyst utilizes as many principles of behavior analysis in teaching a course as the material, conditions, and academic policies allow.

What!? So, I'm confused. Is this a cult or a science? I'm going to go ahead and cry foul over illegal wedding of church and state. Stop trying to shape me with your voodoo, or I will have to show you the love of Christ during class. Then you'll be sorry.

You may recall that behaviorism is a movement that emphasizes the reinforcement of desired behaviors. In the classroom, this translates to (a) rewarding students who participate in class and punishing those who do not, and (b) giving assessments often, which is intended to reinforce those who choose to do the out-of-class work and punish those who do not. The idea is to encourage students to participate actively in class and at home. My classes this semester are taught by behaviorists. Here are some observations.

1. I am a graduate student
2. I already know how to learn
3. I am good at learning
4. My learning style does not fit in your box
5. Clarence Thomas hasn't spoken in open court in 31 months: I'm pretty sure I shouldn't lose points if I don't ask a question or make a comment in every class
6. I don't pay $450 a credit hour to listen to my classmates talk about their personal lives and ask irrelevant questions; I pay for you to tell me what I need to know

I spent all weekend reading. I have to go read now.

My rants about Sarah Palin continue. I read an article yesterday that described how Palin, when addressing a group of ministry students, said that the United States sent troops to Iraq to execute God's will. She also said that it was God's will to build a 30-billion-dollar natural gas pipeline through Alaska.

Was it? I'll have to check again, but the last time I looked, there was nothing in the Bible about the Iraq war or a pipeline through Alaska. Perhaps she deduced these things from biblical principles, I don't really know. I'd really like to believe that she did, and I applaud the openness with which she discusses her faith. But it makes me VERY nervous that she's using the "God's will" card to justify her political policies and personal opinions. I'm sure you'll recall a little something I like to call the Crusades. And the Spanish Inquisition. And Nazi Germany. And Jihad against the West. And on and on and on.

Who is privy to knowing the mind of God?

I had my first day of the new semester today, and I learned an important lesson.

(20 hours at the counseling center) + (20 hours of teaching/research) + (full course load) = (really busy week)

(really gross week) X (30 weeks) = (really gross year) = (I wish there was something I could do about it) = (there isn't anything I can do about it)

This math makes me want to throw up.

Sarah Palin made two announcements today. First, she noted that she hired a lawyer to defend her against claims that she tried to have her former brother-in-law, a state trooper, illegally fired. Then, she said that her 17-year-old daughter is pregnant. (The PR machine put a positive spin on the affair, noting that the girl would both bring the pregnancy to full term and marry the father.) We Christians are big on leaders who can manage their own households. I'm not sure if this qualifies as effective management.

I am decidedly NOT anti-Republican. I am against voting for people SOLELY because they share your denomination. I still don't who I'm voting for. Let's not be rash.