This week, in the classes that I teach, the first assignment of the semester was due. For some reason, a few students always have trouble with figuring out what to do. Since the directions for the assignment are expressly laid out in the textbook in five bullet points, I usually say something like,

"For the love of all that's good in the world, please read the directions and then follow them exactly. It's really important that you do, because some of them are really easy, and I would hate to have to take points away for something silly. For example, look at point number two. It says, 'For one point (out of ten), staple or paperclip everything together.' So, please, please, whatever you do, staple or paperclip all your pages together. That way, I won't feel like a jerk for taking off points for something stupid, and you'll get all your points."

I had this conversation three times:

Student: I don't have a staple.
Me: I'm sorry to hear that.
Student: What should I do?
Me: It's actually totally up to you.
Student: (Confused look) So it's okay if I turn it in?
Me: (smiling/blank expression)
Student: So should I just put my name on everything?
Me: (smiling/blank expression)
Student: (Annoyed look, turns in unstapled paper and leaves)
Me: Have a good day!

Not everyone should go to college.