It’s raining
But not draining
I’m not complaining,
Just feigning.

Our first days back in California have been strange: though significantly warmer here, it’s been raining. It’s quite strange, rain in California. People are running wild in the streets. There have been evacuation recommendations for parts of LA county (I’m not joking about this one; something about mudslides, but how sad is that; it rains, and people have to leave). Despite little sleep, Sarah was able to have a good day at school yesterday, but I suspect she’ll have less fun today (what with the deadly precipitation). I was able to play basketball without seriously injuring myself, so that’s always a plus…

The eagles have landed.
We didn’t get stranded.
It was just as we planned it.
Only better.
Bet you didn’t know you could rhyme stranded and planned it.

Sarah and I arrived safely in California. We were three hours later than we initially planned, not because we were unintentionally delayed, but instead because we were blessed and got bumped. For our three extra hours of waiting, Northwest was kind enough to give us $600 in travel vouchers (total, not each) and another $20 in meal vouchers. It was stupendous. As an added bonus, we also got to spend an hour in Memphis instead of in the boring air. I’ve heard they have good barbeque, but we didn’t partake, because we’d already spent most of our meal money in Detroit (they really do gouge you in the airport) on a sub at Quizno’s and ice cream at McDonald’s. Other than that, our trip home was largely uneventful: our planes were on time, our bags arrived, and the drive home from LAX only took 45 minutes (no traffic). If I can muster the will, I might post some pictures from our trip home. We’ll see…

What is the proper
form for a correct Haiku?
I really don’t know.

Or do I?

Sarah is making cards again today, so she’s been out of my hair. For once. This morning, I screamed for the express purpose of startling her; I found that she really doesn’t look too kindly on such behavior; I’ve been doing it intermittently ever since. The cat doesn’t really like it either: her reactions are enjoyable as well.

I haven’t been replying to comments because the internet is too slow. I blame this on the phone lines, which, apparently, haven’t been upgraded since 1896 when they were personally laid by a Mr. A. Bell. So if you have a complaint, take it up with him.

I seem to have started a fire.
I don’t mean my pants are ablaze;
I’m no liar.
I began with some sticks
And newspapers and waste
This is a ridiculous poem.
I made a fire in the fireplace to heat the house.
The end.

It snowed today. By my comment, I mean specifically that it snowed today in Lapeer. I’m sure there are other places where it snowed today; though it’s possible that I am wrong. Sarah is getting ready to make cards, and I’m getting ready to be ignored for the next four hours. She’ll protest that this isn’t true, but let’s be serious. She keeps walking by; at any moment, she could stop to read over my shoulder, and then I’d really be in trouble. “AAHHH!!!” she’d crow. “Don’t say that! They’ll think it’s true. Delete it!” Then she’d hit me. Over and over and over again.

I’m back home in the cold and snow.
The wind has not ceased to blow.
I’m about to get started…
Wait, the dog just farted
And now I’ve really got to go.

Well, we arrived in Lapeer without much trouble (unless you count the fact that I only slept 10 hours in 3 days; as it turns out, this may have actually been helpful: I’ve been sleeping through the night, so far); our flights were uneventful, and, for the most part, on time. We’ve been here for two days, and everything I brought with me is now covered in cat hair (including my face). Sarah is busy doing lesson plans; she hopes today is the only day she’ll have to do them: she wants to spend the majority of her time making cards, drinking tea, sleeping, and eating ice cream, lots of ice cream. I’ll let you know how that works out for her.

What’s with the poetry,
all of a sudden?
Due to spring,
and creativity’s budding?

Nope.

In the hopes of regulating my sleeping patterns, I took a four hour nap today. Indeed, it does sound ridiculous. But wait; recall that I didn’t sleep at all last night. I figured with four hours of sleep, I’d have no trouble making it to bed by midnight, and that was my vow. It’s now 12:52 AM, and I’m not tired yet. Maybe I’m turning into Thomas Edison (you’ll remember that he slept in shifts); now all I have to do is invent 200,000 things. What about a raisin, covered in chocolate. Now that would be good.

Out in the real world, Sarah’s been working hard to get ready for her break (President’s Day “ski week”), preparing lesson plans, working to get her problem students expelled (actually, they’re doing fine jobs of that on their own), etc., etc. On a related note, we leave for Michigan in less than 48 hours, so there’d better be some serious global warming in the next two or three days. Or else.

Valentine’s has come and gone,
A card or two I may have drawn.
A card or two she may have sawn,
Or seen, as it were.
Cut!
That really broke the rhythm.
I can’t go on.
I’ll be in my trailor.

To elaborate on yesterday’s post: I’M NOT SLEEPING WHEN PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO SLEEP!!! Consider now: it’s 5:19 AM, Pacific Standard Time, and I haven’t really even considered going to bed. It’s not that I have anything major to do, I’m just not particularly tired enough to sleep. Even if I was, I’m not sure if I would: it’s a little late for that. Probably, I’ll stay up for a few more hours, take a nap, and be up in time to be fully awake when it’s time to go to bed tomorrow. The only thing I can figure is that I’m running on a 27-hour-a-day schedule (a real problem when 1) you live in a world when the earth rotates around the sun every 24 hours, and 2) you have responsibilities for which you need to be awake).

In other news, I need to be sure to self-police a grammar mistake I frequently commit. I regularly use “less” when I should be using “fewer.” I need to make fewer mistakes (as opposed to, I need to make less mistakes). I’m not even sure if that example is correct. I’ll check on that…

Oh yes, and Sarah is still here. I think. The end.

Mother said: "No offense, but I'm not sure that Mrs. Alt, Mrs. Coon, Mrs. Watz, Mrs. Milito, and those other two elementary teachers(whose names escape me!)from your past would approve of this wanton abuse of poetic license. It's a literary raspberry if ever I saw one. I practically got spit on my face while I was reading it. "

First: thanks for the compliment.
Second: literary raspberry; I like that; you're funny.
Third: Mrs. Foster, Mrs. Tessmer
Fourth: a new poem

I hate bad poetry.
And by bad,
I mean,
Anything that doesn't rhyme.
Thank you for
acknowledging That
My own non-rhyming poetry,
iS;
A commentary!
A sla?p in the face/:??""
To all those ^sucke)rs out there@#
Who can't figure out how to rhyme.

Plus, my bad poetry is funny; theirs just makes you wonder how the heck they got published.

Sleep is becoming a problem. I will try and elaborate later. For now, just know that it appears I'm sleeping in shifts. Up for a while. Sleep for a few hours. Up for a while. Sleep for a few hours. Let's hope Cupid is shooting with tranquilizer darts this year.

I tried to sleep and didn’t well
So I got up and ate.

The end.

I had trouble sleeping again last night. By “trouble,” I, of course, mean that I woke up at 3 AM and didn’t go back to sleep. I suppose, if you were being particular, you could say that I didn’t actually have trouble sleeping. I slept fine for 4.5 hours. Staying asleep, on the other hand, is where the difficulty arose. Not that it’s really a problem: I don’t have anywhere to be until Friday.

Sarah slept fine and is jumping into the week with high hopes. She bought a new board game to play with her students (Cranium Caribou, for those children’s game aficionados out there). She isn’t actually going to play. The students will play. And they won’t really play. Sarah will change the game enough so that they’ll learn. So, the students will learn, in school; what a concept. Additionally, at some point this week, she’s going to propose a new reading curriculum to her principle. Hopefully that goes well. If it does, Sarah will enjoy her job. If it doesn’t, Sarah’s principle and colleagues will be able to answer the age-old question about whether there’s life after death. It’s really a win-win situation.

I try to write,
Nothing comes.
Outside it’s bright,
I’ve got to run.

(Not literally, of course;
That would be crazy;
No offense.)

The weather has been absolutely spectacular as of late. Actually, it’s a little on the cool side when it’s late, but during the day, highs have been in the upper 70’s and lower 80’s. I’m not really sure it can get better than that. Well, I suppose if you took away the smoke smell it would help. Stupid fires, bothering my air quality. Other people just have to deal with the burning of all their earthly possessions. Why do I have to suffer so.

So perhaps you’ve noticed that my posts have become rather infrequent. Perhaps you’re imagining things. Perhaps you’re in some sort of time warp. Perhaps you’re wrong. Perhaps I’ve been less than motivated.

It’s definitely not that last one. Upon initial consideration, I thought that I haven’t been writing because I don’t have much to write about: lately, it seems as if I’ve just been doing the same things over and over again; there are only are only so many ways I can make “didn’t bother to put on pants today” seem more interesting. “Why didn’t he put on pants?”, you’re undoubtedly wondering. It doesn’t really matter. What matters is that I didn’t do it for many, many days in a row, and there’s really no way to make that kind of repetition interesting.

As I said, that I didn’t have much to write about was my initial consideration. With further inquiry, I realized this wasn’t true at all. In the last two weeks, I’ve written little, but much has happened here in Orange County. I was hit by a car (short story, didn’t hurt, not that interesting). Someone I know (who shall remain nameless) went on a date with a man 243 years her senior. Five days ago, someone started a fire 20 miles from where we live, and, long story short it’s still burning, we have ash on our patio, and the schools have cancelled all recesses and sporting events. I coached my last basketball game of the season (mentioned elsewhere…), and we were soundly defeated (though we won the moral match). Sarah turned into a monkey. On Super Bowl Sunday, we celebrated Chinese New Year with a veritable feast of jellyfish and whole crustaceans. I walked nearly 30 miles in one week. I learned Beethoven’s Fur Elise on the piano. I got a zit on my neck that was so large it looked as if I was sprouting a second head. As soon as the initial swelling receded, a similar behemoth sprouted merely inches from the first. I stayed up all night and played basketball at 6 AM.

And the list goes on and on. So if it wasn’t lack of happenstance that caused the gradual dearth of posts, what was it? I have seven competing theories. 1) Laziness, 2) business, 3) aliens, 4) gluttony, 5) Sarah, 6) lazy alien Sarah’s busy gluttony, 7) lack of motivation. Anywho, perhaps I’ll be able to again achieve my regular schedule of posting. Perhaps I won’t.

The team we played consisted of rich, white kids. The fact that they stomped us didn’t really bother me. The fact that they were up by 30 late in the fourth and continued to run their fast break didn’t really bother me. What did bother me were the facts that 1) the other team used racial slurs on the court and 2) when I asked to referee to listen for it, he called my player a liar. Who teaches racism to an 8th grader?

You know how sometimes, if you live in the rest of the country, you'll get lucky and there'll be a snow day? Well here in Orange County we had a "bad air" day (from local fires). Unfortunately, all that means is that the kids have to stay inside at recess time. I miss the snow........

Go away.

My sleep schedule is having problems again. I think sometimes I just get too bored to go to bed (a phenomenon you have to experience to understand), and then I have to sleep in more and more to make up for it. The only way to fix things is to get up really early one morning, take no naps throughout the day, go to bed early, and then get up really early the next morning. Who has the willpower for that.

The basketball team officially made the playoffs (all teams but the very last are invited; fortunately for us, one team didn’t win any games). Theoretically, we could have three more games; though, realistically, we may have slightly less (as in one: the tournament is single elimination; but, you never know: there might be one of those Disney-type moments, and we might have ourselves a movie; I mean good game).

Superbowl weekend is officially over, and Sarah finds herself officially wanting it to not be over: it’s not really so much that she likes football, but more that she really is looking forward to our upcoming trip to Michigan (and, of course, the inherent break from the unpleasantness that she calls her job). Don’t get me wrong, she likes her job (or so she says), she just wants it to be over. Or to be summer. Or a perpetual weekend. My guess is that what she actually enjoys most about the work are the breaks. And so it is with the rest of us. Society needs a change.

We were down 16-0 at the end of the first quarter. When I put my usual starters back in, I hoped they'd gotten the message that basketball is a team game. As it turns out, they didn't. One player scored 17 of our 25 points, strickly because he decided to make up for his lost playing time by not passing. Scoring is good, but trying to dribble through a tripple team while three of your teammates are wide open is, what I like to call, the opposite of good.

I used to look at other people like they were insane when they said things like "When I was in school, we had a paddle in the principal's office and he used it. That's what we need in education today!". While there are MANY problems in the public school system, I was always a little skeptical that a paddle could fix all. Well, today I've come to the conclusion that bringing back "the paddle" might alleviate some of the discipline problems we (I) have in school today. For example, I have a student who has been continuously bullying another student all week. He sat in the principal's office for an hour today, looking appropriately contrite. The vice principal threatened to call his parents--and this student seemed to brighten at the prospect. As soon as dad walked in, this student was all smiles. Throughout dad's lecture (using words like "communicate" and "consequence" to a student with a language level comparable to that of a three year old) this student sat with his head bowed and fought to keep the smile off his face. The whole incident is a big joke to him. He laughs after punching others. I thought maybe "the paddle" would wipe the smirk off his face. Too bad I have no such authority.......... For now I will just have to wait and watch him like a hawk because the next time it happens, he'll be suspended. And it's okay if he's still smiling then, because at least I won't have to see it :) !

As someone pointed out, it’s no longer Tuesday (unless, of course, you’re reading this on Tuesday, but that presents another issue entirely).

In other news, I’m beginning to think Sarah and I should have invested in an airplane: we recently completed our trip to Europe; in two weeks, we’re flying to Michigan; a few weeks after that, we arranged for Hannah to fly here; a week after that, we arranged for Rebekah to fly here. Just think how much money we’d have saved if only we’d had some foresight…

Thursday, the basketball team plays the best team in the league (undefeated, holds opponents under 10, etc.). Three of my starters are on a class trip; two decided to go to Taco Bell instead of the first 15 minutes of practice. Sixth man is on the said trip; seventh man is sick; eighth man is hurt. I'll be starting (in the order they usually come off the bench), players 9, 10, 14, 15, 16 (out of a possible 17). Just as in life, the faithful will be rewarded, even if they're not good at basketball.