Last weekend, Sarah and I took the car to get its oil changed, and the technician said that it was leaking transmission fluid. I wasn't terribly alarmed. After all, we drive a Corolla, the Supreme Emperor of Reliability. At 113,000 miles, I was counting on 5-10 more years of smooth sailing. I was so un-alarmed that I almost didn't even bother to see how much fluid we'd lost. Almost.

Over the next 24 hours, I came to the conclusion that the technician was quite mistaken. We weren't "leaking" fluid, we were "hemorrhaging" fluid. See the difference? As it turns out, the cost for repairs would likely exceed the value of the car (see "totaled"); thus, the Corolla appears to be headed for early retirement with a whimper. And by "headed for early retirement," I mean, "headed for dismemberment."

Unfortunately, this leaves us in a lurch. We'll have to buy another car, but those with good fuel economy and reliability (see "foreign make and model") aren't exactly easy to come by right now (due to the stagnant economy, rising fuel costs, ). Not to mention, this is Michigan (see "Home of the Gas-Guzzling Crap Heap"--no offense intended for local auto workers...).

So, we're faced with a no-win situation: do we buy a (used/cheap) gas-guzzling crap heap that will cost us an additional $1,500-$2,500 per year in fuel costs alone, or do we spend the vast majority of our savings on a nice and/or new car (with the money that I earmarked for paying off my student loans or putting down a small payment on a house)?

I considered a third option, but Sarah's 50-mile (one way) commute would probably seem a lot longer if she had to walk.

Alright, it's been a few days. I've been hanging out and enjoying my break. I haven't really done anything, which is exactly how I plan on continuing to enjoy my break. On that note...

I just finished turning in my last assignment of the semester. It's nice, and I really hope to enjoy my 'summer' break (over the next 10 days), but I'm not getting that excited because 'spring' semester starts next Monday...

When I was a senior in high school, my varsity baseball coach let two 8th graders practice with our team. One of the kids played first base, one of my positions, so I got to know him a little bit. He was nice kid, albeit a little goofy, and he was pretty big at the time, maybe 5'10" 200 lbs. (with about 30 pounds of baby fat), but he obviously hadn't yet grown into his body. Jake Long is now 6'7" and weighs 313 lbs. He runs the 40-yard dash in 5 seconds, has a 28 inch vertical leap, and can bench press 380 pounds. Today, ESPN.com announced that he just signed a 5-year contract with the Miami Dolphins worth $57 million dollars and thus will become the number 1 overall pick in this year's NFL draft.

Eight years ago, I could have squashed him like a bug. In the meantime, I've turned into the typical 'ex-jock', and Jake has become one of the best athletes in the world. Today, Jake was awarded approximately 40 times more money (in one day) than I will make in my lifetime (while, oddly, I was awarded no monies). How the worm turns.

Still very busy. Have been writing a paper for the last 36 waking hours. Getting sicker. Won't sleep much tonight because of the paper. And the other paper. Less annoyed.

I'm very busy. I'm also sick. And annoyed.

I got my course evaluations back today (you know, where students critique me, my teaching, and the course that I teach). As with last semester, my students thought I was a good teacher (the main theme this semester was that I am "nice"). I won't list the majority of comments like I did last time, but I will relay my favorite. Under "Constructive Suggestions for the Instructor", one student wrote, "Get a haircut." The sad part is that a student said something similar last semester.

Thanks for the tips.

It's the end of the semester, so everybody on campus is a little stressed out. And by a little stressed out, I mean that everybody is freaking out and encroaching on my sense of calm with their toxicity. It's enough to make me want to get away from everyone, so here's a notice to everybody: "Stop harshing on my mellow ... or else I'm going to go golfing until you chill out." At least, I would go golfing, but I have to go do more of my work in advance so that I don't end up like everybody else. That, and it snowed today (forget that it was 70 two days ago; this is Michigan).

I don't really have all that much to say today. The semester is over in two weeks. I've been working hard. I'm tired. I'm going to go ahead and go to bed. How's that? Not enough? Okay then. Also,

I got a very nice (and completely unsolicited) compliment today. A professor (the one for whom I do lots and lots of work) told me that (a) I am "very highly regarded within the department," (b) I am "very clearly doctoral material," and (c) I should "definitely" reapply to the PhD program. (He also said that he's not really sure why I didn't get in the first time around.). Apparently, hard work doesn't go unnoticed forever. Huh.

Yesterday, I was surprised to receive an out-of-the-blue job offer from the Psychology department at the unnamed university where I attend. It's a short-term, contract position to teach a course this summer. It's actually the same course that I've been teaching all year, but because they don't offer assistantships during the summer, the job title is Adjunct Lecturer. While it doesn't sound auspicious, it does mean that I'll technically be a faculty member at a large university. Technically.

I like this for 2 reasons: first, it's going to look great on my resume; second, I'll be paid $1600 for about 32 hours of work, which comes to $50 per hour, a significantly higher rate than the $11.15 per hour that I made at my last job.

The only catch is that the class has reach enrollment capacity (20), or else it will be cancelled. We'll see how it turns out...

I saw a number of interesting headlines today: "Woman Bites Dog Who Was Attacking Her Pooch", "Man Steals Guitar by Hiding It in His Pants", "Real Life Goldilocks Found Asleep in Washington Home", "Hawk Swoops, Attacks Girl At Fenway Park".

Here's a headline. "Reporters Take Thursday off, Tired of Writing about War, Economic Doom, the Housing Crisis, Terrorists, and Global Warming". Take Friday off too, while you're at it.

While visiting Philadelphia, Hilary Clinton recently compared herself to Rocky Balboa. Based on my (borderline obsessive) knowledge of the Rocky movies, I came up with a few possibilities of what she might have meant with the analogy.

1. She saying she is a fictional character played by a less-than-optimally-skilled actor.
2. She's saying she's only in the race because of a publicity stunt by the reigning champ (Apollo Creed/Barak Obama) and is going to lose narrowly to her heavily favored opponent [Rocky].
3. She's saying she's going to narrowly win against Obama but end up looking like a catcher's mitt and suffering from brain damage [Rocky II].
4. She's saying she's going to be overconfident and lose (to Clubber Lang/John McCain) but then have her campaign managed by the person who previously beat her (Creed/Obama) and then win a rematch in the 2012 election (over Lang/McCain) only to get punched in the face (by Creed/Obama) in a 'friendly', unsanctioned, winner-take-all, one-vote election held in a private country [Rocky III].
5. She's saying that an 'unbeatable' Russian (Ivan Drago/Dimitri Medvedev) is going to kill her former opponent/'friend' (Creed/Obama), so she's going to throw her hat into an unsanctioned election on Christmas day in Moscow and be beaten (literally) senseless but then win both the favor of the Russians and the unsanctioned Russian election [Rocky IV].
6. She's saying that she's a washed-up, brain-damaged presidential candidate who's afraid to enter any more elections because she might die [Rocky V].
7. She's saying that she wants one more election before her career is over, so she's planning to fight an scary opponent (Mason Dixon/Howard Dean) to whom she will eventually lose in a split decision [Rocky Balboa].

Come on Hilary, let's think things through before we open our yaps about things we don't understand and haven't thought through.

Last night, I read a news story about how nine 3rd graders (boys and girls) in Georgia were plotting to kill their teacher. (Apparently, she had scolded one of them for standing on a chair.) Together, the came up with an arsenal that included a broken steak knife, handcuffs, duct tape, and a paperweight. They planned to knock her unconscious with the weight, bind her with the other materials, and then stab her with the knife. They had even assigned different roles to the different members of the group. They were caught when another student alerted a teacher that someone had brought a weapon to school. The worst part about the whole situation was the response of the school principal. She said, "This is an aberration. We only have good kids at our school."

Wait, what? I'm confused. Do good kids plot to knock others unconscious? Do good kids plan to assault and/or murder their teachers? No, lady. You don't have good kids at your school. You have bad kids. Bad kids who do bad things. Get real.