I saw a number of interesting headlines today: "Woman Bites Dog Who Was Attacking Her Pooch", "Man Steals Guitar by Hiding It in His Pants", "Real Life Goldilocks Found Asleep in Washington Home", "Hawk Swoops, Attacks Girl At Fenway Park".

Here's a headline. "Reporters Take Thursday off, Tired of Writing about War, Economic Doom, the Housing Crisis, Terrorists, and Global Warming". Take Friday off too, while you're at it.