To whomever it may concern:

Some attentive consumers may have noticed the recent decrease in the production of posts. Due to the switch from high-speed, DSL internet service to snail-speed, half-of-regular-dial-up internet service, production will likely remain at an all-time low for the near future. Those consumers who would like to voice a complaint may contact ATT.

Thank you.

The Management

Dad and I played some golf today. It was great playing in Michigan. At several points, we were the only people in sight. No one behind us pushing us to play faster. No one in front of us slowing us down. In Orange County, the only way there aren't 600 other people on the course is if you sneak onto the course at night and play in the dark (in which case, there are only 30 or 40 others...). It's good to be back.

If you've seen Sarah's blog, you'll note that we made it to Michigan. Below are the new cats. What you can't see are the worms. Hopefully we'll get that taken care of.

I was cleaning the fridge today, and I found a shelf in the door that I had never seen before. It's a nice shelf: it's contoured to hold 6 beverage-type cans. Interestingly, it's placed at just the right height so that I can't see it when I look down into the door and the body of the fridge. What's also interesting is that I HAVE cleaned the fridge before (and still didn't notice it--once I took the whole fridge apart, took the shelves and drawers out, took out EVERYTHING, and still didn't see it). I think I have a problem with details.

Just keep packing...just keeping packing...just keep swimming...just keep swimming. Finding Nemo.

Don't get your hopes up: this isn't going to be about anything interesting. Today, I packed. Tomorrow, I pack and clean. Thursday, I clean. Friday, I pack the car. I also have to throw in an oil change and a trip to the post office. That's all for now...

That last post disgusted me. Not only was it completely boring, but it was a little unsettling (you really should see my face though--it looks like I broke something). In any case, today's task is to do those last loads of laundry (FOR-EH-VER [that was a relatively obscure reference to a movie, by the way]), clean some borrowed household items (so they can be returned), and play some basketball. This post was much better than the last. Go ahead and disregard it.

I have a blocked pore on my face/catcher's mitt. If it doesn't go away, I may have to take drastic measures. Just thought I'd keep you in the loop.

We easily survived packing up Sarah's classroom. As it turns out, we grossly overestimated the amount of time it would take to complete the job. As it also turns out, we have a lot of boxes of books and files to send in the mail. Speaking of books, I booked our hotels for our upcoming cross-country trip (as a result, we're praying that we don't have car trouble or hit major traffic: there's nothing like arriving at your hotel at 4AM...). On tap for tomorrow: laundry: the last load ever.

The packing has begun (did I mention that we're moving to Michigan?). Today I cleaned out the car (first time since the last time we moved). Tomorrow we clean out Sarah's classroom. I'll let you know if we survive...

I was perusing Michigan real estate listings this evening and came across this headline, "$800,000 Desperate to sell brand new residence in Castle Rock area." If you're desperate to sell, here's a tip: lower your price about $800,000.

I read a news item recently about a veterinarian who punched a five-pound chihuahua, knocking its eye out of the socket. Apparently, the vet was trying to prepare the dog for surgery, but the animal was, according to "witnesses", being "uncooperative". In frustration, the vet punched it and was subsequently arrested on animal cruelty charges. Reportedly, the witnesses (a bull mastiff and a cairn terrier) were shaken up by the ordeal. The chihuahua had this to say, "You know, I just really didn't want him to stick that thermometer in there...but, yes, I probably will be a little more cooperative next time.

My question: if Chihuahuas aren't even liked by those who devote their lives to saving/helping animals, should the little nerve-balls really be allowed to live?

In other news, a veterinarian's life was ruined today.

I'm supposed to be asleep right now. I don't know what it is, I just don't enjoy the act of going to bed. According to my parents, I was born this way. So stop trying to change me. If I want to be awake when it's dark and asleep when it's light, that's your problem. Deal with it. *What's he talking about?*

Today, through the magic of the internet, I learned about a distant, distant relative of mine who was born in the late 1800's in Lapeer, MI. Apparently, during the 1920's and 30's, he was president of the University of Rhode Island, the University of Maryland, and Michigan State University (what's more, his grandfather helped found Michigan State). Each university named a dorm after him, and the U.S. government went so far as to name a naval ship after him. Who knew. No one, actually. But then I discovered how to use the internet, and now everyone will know.

Sarah didn't snap any toothbrushes in half today, so I was going to jokingly suggest that she snapped a chair in half when she sat on it, but she'd probably get mad. She's skinny though. You can only joke like that when everyone knows you can't possibly be serious. Skinny.

P.S. She just said, and I'm quoting here, "I'm going to snap your neck in half if you're not careful." Be prepared for a summons: you may have to testify.

For quite some time, oral hygiene has been a contentious issue our household. Some of us believe that Sarah brushes her teeth too hard, others of us believe that she brushes with adequate force. Generally, the debate has revolved around the fact that the bristles of Sarah's toothbrush deteriorate exponentially faster than mine do. Some could argue that I simply don't brush as long or as often, but, as of tonight, those who put forth such theories would be decidedly wrong.

Earlier this evening, I was sitting at the computer, and Sarah was getting ready for bed in the other room; the sound of her furious brushing served as white noise, and I was enjoying an interesting article about unnecessary lawsuits and torte reform. Suddenly, the relative silence was interrupted by a resounding, "CRACK!"

Let me ask you this: do toothbrushes generally snap in half when they are being used appropriately?

P.S. The answer is not "Yes. Yes they do."

I wanted to post something interesting. Something provocative. Something about how everyone picks their nose, but if you catch someone else doing it you a) pretend to be grossed out, or b) ridicule them. But I can't. I just got done playing three hours of basketball, my elbow hurts, the only thing I've eaten today is a sandwich, and Seinfeld is on.

Just when the Hay Fever seems to be on its way out, WHAM!, your face itches so much that you can't go to sleep. At least, that's what happened to me. Either that, or we have bed bugs.

Stupid Pistons.

If you're ever in the mood for propaganda, for a movie with barely-covert anti-Christian themes, for your children to be simultaneously entertained and brainwashed, then I recommend renting the animated musical/film, "Happy Feet".

If you saw Happy Feet, and you don't know what I'm talking about, I encourage you to watch it again, this time paying careful attention to the underlying themes and messages about the Church, family relations, and personality theory/human development. I'll bet they thought no one would notice.