To procure the closest possible parking space, there are many among us (you know who you are) who are willing to spend considerable time negotiating their way through a large parking lot. Sometimes, they follow someone who looks as if she is returning to her car (and this person either a) pretends not to notice, or b) thinks she's about to get abducted and frantically searches for her keys); other times, they circle the lot, like vultures searching for a fresh kill, scanning for newly opened spaces, vying for position with the other spot hounds, making crazy hand gestures, and blocking traffic with a complete disregard for all that is good in the world. There are also those who will simply wait close to the curb with the motor running, hoping to nab the first place that opens. All of these people are spot hounds (you know who you are), and I have several comments for you (you know who you are).

1) Almost invariably, it would be faster to park in the first available space (Don't believe me? Try it and find out. I would be willing to bet your life on it.). When I see a spot hunter in its natural habitat (the Costco Parking Lot/Serengeti), my personal goal is to get in and out of a store before the spot hunter finishes parking.

2) You are not allowed to complain about high fuel prices; just think how much gas you'd save if you didn't spend 400 hours a year circling parking lots.

3) You are not allowed to complain about weight gain; just think how much more food you could eat if you knew you'd be burning 100,000 extra calories a year because of the additional 3 minute walk you'd be taking twice a week.

Finally, I'd just like to comment about a small subculture withing the spot hounds. Like the others, those who make up this subculture are willing to wait/drive around, if they must, for up to 36 hours in order to get the closest possible space. Unless it's a hot day. In this case, these shade hounds are willing to park three states over, as long as it means finding a spot under a tree. Do you want to walk 100 yards to the mall? "NO WAY!", comes the resounding response, "Unless it's hotter than 76 degrees--in which case we'd prefer to walk as far as possible: we don't want our car to get too much sun; we forgot the sunscreen, and it has low melanin."

No offense.