The interesting thing about my case of hay fever is that it has nothing to with "hay" or "fever". The symptoms include itchy skin, complaints, distemper, and swollen butt. Didn't see that coming, did you? Why am I so funny?

That reminds me of an interesting story. When I was six years old, I wasn't what you might call, "fleet of foot". When compared to a tortoise and a hare, I was probably closer in speed to the tortoise, assuming it had been long dead. Apparently, this fact was lost on me. I once asked my dad, in all seriousness, "Dad, why am I so fast?"

To date, that question has gone unanswered. So, I pose it to you. Why AM I so fast? And, as a follow up, why doesn't anyone else recognize my incredible speed?