Vacation has begun. Now all I have to do is finish my two, count-em two, take-home exams that were lovingly assigned by my professors the day before break. Wasn't that nice of them.

I was walking to work the other day and a colleague drove by. She slowed, rolled down her window, and said, "You're the fastest walker I've ever seen." I thought about it for a while, and I came to two conclusions: (a) I am the fastest walker she's ever seen, and (2) it's no wonder I've shaved several minutes off my daily 'commute'--the faster I walk, the less time I have to spend freezing my face off in the frozen tundra.

I demand spring.