Tuesday, August 12, 2008

While taking a break from reading for my class, I was reading an article on ESPN.com about Michael Phelps' latest triumph, a gold medal in the 200m butterfly. The author declared,
In the fly, his signature stroke, Phelps was second at the first flip, then pushed it into another gear, his long arms gobbling up huge chunks of water as he literally sailed along atop the surface. He touched the wall in 1 minutes, 52.03 seconds, breaking his mark of 1:52.09 from last year's world championships.
Well no wonder the guy is the best swimmer the world has ever seen: he's a frickin cheater! Sailing along atop the surface?!? Does everybody else get a boat too? I'm shocked that he hasn't been disqualified.

Here's a tip for all you professional writers out there: use of the word "literally" indicates that something is actually happening in real life. As in, I'm literally not sure how this story got picked up by the AP without basic editing. I think you meant something along the lines of, "Michael Phelps was figuratively sailing along atop the surface." You actually meant to say the antithesis of what you did indeed write. Oops.

Of course, it's not as bad as the NPR reporter I heard a while back. She was talking with a woman and noted that she could "literally see dollar signs in her eyes." In her eyes? Help! Someone call an ophthalmologist!

3 comments:

Sarah said...

This post literally tickled my funny bone!

Anonymous said...

YOU are literally too smart! Jan

Anonymous said...

So then, would you say the reporters are literally too figurative, or would you say they are figuratevely too literal?

I figure they just literally need to sail away.
Love, Mom