Perhaps you'll remember that time two years ago when my young life was nearly cut short by a horde of angry yellow jackets. At the time, the doctors said that I'd be in trouble (i.e., dead) if I got stung again. Since then, I've been cowering/running away like a little girl at the very thought of bees, much more the sight of them.
On Monday, Dad and I were golfing, and we thought I'd hit my ball into a bush near the green. While we were poking around in there, we must have disturbed a family of yellow jackets, because the next thing I knew, I was once again being assaulted by angry hornets. They're aggressive little suckers. In the end, I got stung four times in the shoulder (and Dad got a bunch too).
You'll note that I'm not dead. Also note that the worst effect occurred on my scorecard. Turns out, fear of imminent death is distracting. I blame the doctors. They made me paranoid: I duffed three chips in a row and then three putted. Thanks guys. Although my shoulder has been itchy and a little swollen ever since, IT HASN'T BEEN DEAD. Two years of fear for nothing.
Score: Doctors: -4, Me: 472, (Bees: 1,887)
(Also, Detroit Tigers: negative infinity. Here's a tip: DON'T TRADE A HALL OF FAME CATCHER FOR A RELIEF PITCHER. ESPECIALLY TO THE YANKEES. I'm going on record as being fundamentally opposed to this.)
5 comments:
Those are nasty little critters. They can make you feel as though you can't run at all. Quick jerk leg muscles are not fast enough.
Well, I for one am relieved! Fear over nothing is so much better than fear over something! (???) Jan
NO matter how bad our last golf shot was we should have inner peace in knowing there is an even worse one yet to come.
More importantly, with Tiger not on the Tour this year, you ought to consider getting your PGA card. You have as good of a chance as anyone to win some tournaments! As it stands, it's a pretty boring PGA season.
Jabron.
Did you have to use an epi-pen this time?
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