If you haven't been following along at home, here's a quick quiz to help get you up to speed about what's going on in Detroit, or as I call it, Michigan's anus. (Can he say that? What a gross body part. How inappropriate. Someone call the police.)

Detroit's mayor, Kwame Kilpatrick, has gotten himself into trouble recently by allegedly*:

(a) Awarding lucrative city jobs and contracts to friends and family
(b) Becoming implicated in the murder of a stripper
(c) Feloniously perjuring himself to hide an affair with a subordinate and the illegal firing of whistle blowers
(d) Using $210,000 in city funds to lease cars and buy massages, dinners, and alcohol
(e) Assaulting a police officer
(f) Using portions of the "Kilpatrick Civic Fund" (intended for city improvement) to take a vacation to a 5-star resort in California
(g) Using his position to help dismiss court cases
(h) Being named in a slander lawsuit
(h) Funneling $175,000 of state grant money to his wife via a dummy corporation
(i) Throwing a wild party with strippers at the official mayoral residence (the Manoogian Mansion)
(j) Seizing a Harley from the Detroit police for personal use
(k) All of the above

In other news, a dog is running for mayor in Fairhope, Alabama. If he wins, I move that we try and orchestrate some sort of a mayor exchange program.

*Source: Wikipedia, daily news coverage, your mom