In Sarah's most recent post, she talked about how she's feeling unchallenged at work. Some recent conversations with others have led me to see that Vocational Disdain (as I'll call it) may be have reached epidemic proportions. Here are the symptoms and progression, as I've decided them, of this debilitating and frustrating condition. Bear in mind that this is only a description of a TYPICAL presentation: symptoms often show slight individual variance and often present across stages.

Stage One: Ingnorance

• Find a new job and get oriented
• Find a routine
• Say (to many people) that you like your new job a lot

Stage Two: Denial

• Realize that there are parts of your job that you would prefer not to do
• Separate your colleagues into three categories: dullards, dolts, and dunces
  
• Focus on getting your work done and being a good employee
• Ignore any misgivings because you just told everyone how much you like your job

Stage Three: Rumination

• Realize that you'd rather repeatedly jam a fork into your thigh than do many of your work-related responsibilities
• Think of everything else you'd rather be doing and spend inordinate amounts of time looking for opportunities to change jobs/career paths
• Share your feelings with select family members and friends
• Stay up late at night (to squeeze out as much non-work time as possible)
  
• Begin surfing the internet and running personal errands while on the job
  

Stage Four: Depression

• Realize that there's no escape from the torture that you call a job
• Tell your friends, family, and that guy who stands on the corner by the highway how much disdain you have for your job and how you'd rather do any other job in the world (including holding a position titled "highway-corner, cardboard-sign holding for booze/drug money")
• Some people may also lose concern for personal hygiene in this stage (you know who you are)
  

Stage Five: Smoldering Hatred (a.k.a. Tenure)

• Call in sick when you get a hangnail or an itch on your butt
• Take unnecessary visits to multiple physicians--to have that 'itch' checked out and to stick your employer with as many health-care costs as possible
  
• Show flagrant disregard for company policy
• Homicidal ideation (toward your boss, clients, customers, or students, depending on your vocation) is probable (if not inevitable) at this stage

Stage Six: Resolution

• Cluster A
• Quit
• Repeat stages 1-6

• Cluster B
• Retirement
• Sweet relief

Vocational Disdain is a serious condition and should only be treated by a professional. If you think you may be suffering from Vocational Disdain, please make an appointment via our comment hotline. Sufferers may see a decrease in symptoms during a long weekend or while on vacation, but treatment must not be discontinued: the course of Vocational Disdain is lifelong.