Today was another day. I won't bore you with the details or regale you with falsified heroics, but I will say, happily, that the flatulence has passed. (Get it? Passed? I'm clever!) I will also say that you didn't appear to be overly interested with said gas. Perhaps I will bring it up again at a more opportune time, such as the next time we meet in person. (Get it? I made a funny again! So clever!) I'm really not that sure why I'm still talking about it.

The person upstairs is taking a shower. Just thought you might want to know. I know because when he/she/they do, it sounds (in our apartment) as if someone is being bludgeoned (sssshrrrreeeeeewweeeeeahhhhhhhhhh..., etc.) upstairs. Earlier today, even though my doors and windows were closed, I heard our neighbors bitterly arguing (again); later, I heard what I'm pretty sure was them making up--and I don't mean verbally (You're right, that was a bit risque to share; yet it was so cleverly worded).

If you were so clever, wouldn't you have found a synonym for "clever" by now?

I'm feeling more and more like I should report their dog (decidedly not allowed) to management. But it would be such a shame if their lease was terminated...

P.S. Shower's over.