Health update: not for the faint of heart. Seriously.

I’ve had a cyst in the middle of my forehead for a few years now. Sometimes (read: every day), it bothers me. Sometimes, I try to surgically remove it. Recently, I attempted one such procedure. The immediate result was a swollen head. Picture an egg jammed under someone’s forehead. That was a month ago, and, after the initial swelling went down, the cyst has been acting differently. Sometimes, it grows overnight. Other times, it shrinks. Once, I squeezed it as hard as I could and the…again, if you’re squeamish, skip to the bottom…sac around the cyst (and under my skin) tore off and popped out the hole I’d made in my head. That was fun, and I thought I’d won. As it turns out, I was wrong: it kept growing and shrinking and bugging the snot out of me. On Friday evening, it was bothering me, so I poked it (to drain). It didn’t really do much, so I applied some pressure, and to my surprise (and utter glee), a ball of tissue came out. I win.

P.S. Could someone tell Sarah’s insurance company that they owe me 500 dollars (the money I saved by not going to a doctor)? Thanks.