Probably due to the 500 pounds of soap in the trunk giving her extra traction, Sarah made it home safely. Hopefully, she left it in there, because there's a snowstorm outside, and she didn't get a snow day today. I would say that, if she doesn't make it home, at least she'll be clean, but it's only decorative soap, so I'm not really sure if it's going to help anything.

I heard from Sarah today. She had already eaten deep-dish, Chicago-style pizza, conversed extensively in French with her Cameroonian cab driver (who was a professor before he moved to the U.S.), and purchased $10,000 worth of decorative soaps. She's probably going to be mad that I stole her blog material. Don't tell anyone.

Question: do cats like metronomes?

Fact:

Sarah left today for a conference in Chicago. She said something on her blog about how she's going to have the "world's best shopping" at her "doorstep." Unfortunately, I didn't read her post until after she left, but it should be fine because I'm pretty sure I can cancel her credit card from here.

I'm on 'break' this week, but I still have a lot of work to do before the second half of the semester starts, so instead of taking the whole week off, I decided not to do any work this past weekend. Unfortunately, my brain is scrambled because I watched about 20 hours of TV. Oops.

Winter Break is coming.

Woke up, worked on a paper, taught a class, taught another class, came home, worked on the paper, ate dinner, watched an hour of TV with Sarah, procrastinated, worked on the paper.

A reprise of yesterday's joke.

A cat, another cat, and a third cat are alone in a house. A cat plays in its water bowl and gets the floor under the cupboards all wet. Another cat pulls all the hand-towels onto the ground and spreads used kitty-litter all over the floor A third cat barfs in my office. Then they all disappear.

I heard a joke today that I thought was hilarious. I modified it (like a nerd) and added the appropriate philosophies for Aristotle and Plato.

Aristotle, Plato, and Descartes were taking a plane to a philosophy convention, and a flight attendant came to see if they'd like anything to drink. Aristotle said that he'd like a Coke, and he promptly drank it, saying that being consumed was the proper function of a virtuous drink. Plato asked for tomato juice and then dumped it on the ground, exclaiming that the material form of the juice was only a shadow of true juice and, thus, couldn't be experienced in its fullest form anyway. Immersed in thought, Descartes didn't say anything until the attendant asked him whether he wanted something to drink. Descartes responded, "I don't think so.", and he disappeared.

Click here if you didn't get the punchline.

It's quiet.

Food goes in your mouth, not your pants.

Snow is cold when you don't wear shoes or socks.

Cats bite.

I want to take a minute to raise awareness about a disease from which many you undoubtedly suffer. Some of you may bear the pain in silence, others of you may not even know that you are afflicted. Unfortunately, in both cases, the symptoms march on.

I'm trying to raise awareness about this unfortunate condition, and I encourage everyone to get checked out today. You can easily have a knowledgeable friend or family member look for its common signs and symptoms. If caught early, it's an entirely treatable condition.* I'm talking about Buht-Fais Disease,** and I hope you all get the help that you need.

*The most common treatments involve covering the affected area with a paper bag. In clinical trials, this method has been proven quite effective.

**Also commonly referred to as Bhutfaisitis and Buhtfaisism.

Sarah was home sick today. Because I was gone all day and couldn't be here to take care of her, I was hoping for some sort of what's-good-for-the-goose-is-good-for-the-gander-type situation, where she would barf on something the cats like and then they would have clean it up and sprint to some important appointment, but nothing like that really happened. There's always next time.

I'm sure many of you have been watching the so-called "Super Tuesday" presidential primary elections. I'm also sure that many of you have your own views about politics and consider them to be intensely personal and absolutely infallible. On that note, I hope I don't offend anyone when I say that if I am eventually faced with a decision between John McCain and Hilary Clinton, I will probably choose Canada.