Not a creature is stirring, all through the house,
(Not even that roach who’s stuck in the fluorescent light.)
Sarah has sugar plums dancing in her head;
But they’ll stop when I go jump on the bed.
All of a sudden, I heard such a clatter,
But I didn’t run to the window to see what was the matter.
I didn’t throw open the venetian blinds
I knew it was our neighbors, drunk out of their minds.
Again.
I huddled in bed and tried to go back to sleep,
But couldn’t because my mattress is so cheap.
Then I remembered the reason for the day.
So, I’ll just sum up and say:
Christmas morning and all is at rest,
I in my Savior am happy and blest.

Or, I could post the following instead.

Merry Christmas! Sticking with the tradition of the day, I couldn’t sleep in past 6. Those of you who know me will recognize the wonder of that event (in terms of miracles, me not being able to sleep in probably ranks second only to the virgin birth we are celebrating today). In truth, my wakefulness can be attributed more toward my currently-poor sleep schedule than it can be toward Christmas-morning excitement, but we’ll just continue to pretend for old-times sake.