I’m supposed to be wrapping Christmas presents. As you’ve probably discerned, I’m not. It would be exceedingly difficult to type and wrap at the same time, even if I could use my feet (I can’t). Plus, the keyboard would start to stink.

Sarah has her school Christmas party tonight (sort of: it’s actually just for the teachers in her program). I wasn’t invited. Some of you may be thinking, “Oh, he sounds sad; we should buy him something really expensive to make him feel better.” While I won’t argue that you shouldn’t buy me something costly, I will say that you needn’t feel bad on my account. I would have paid good money to avoid the unnecessary social interaction. As it turns out, I didn’t have to (something about her colleagues not liking my more odiferous parts).