I was playing with a Swiss Army Knife today when an interesting thought struck me (and, yes, you heard that correctly, I was playing with a knife): who exactly are the Swiss planning on fighting with these knives? Do you know what the typical model contains? Most have such things as scissors, a toothpick, tweezers, a small knife, a magnifying glass, a nail file, and a corkscrew. As I said, who exactly are the Swiss fighting? “Back I say! I’ll burn you with focused light from the sun!” “Okay soldiers; file your nails to points. When the point their guns at you, scratch each other’s backs!” “Colonel, the Swiss troops have uncorked all our wine and opened most of our cans! We’re doomed!”