I have a conundrum. I was recently the recipient of a mass email sent to some family members by another family member who shall remain nameless save for the pseudonym Rebekah. In any case, I did not reply to the email and received a series of stinging rebukes and a death threat. My question is, do I report her to the police or apologize for not being a good pseudonym-in-law? Probably no less than both will suffice, but I would say that, at the very least, some sort of restraining order is necessary.

Oh, yes, and I almost forgot. I have a wife. The crazy lady was at school (on her day off) until almost 7:30 PM yesterday. I think she's making up for it right now though: she's been watching cartoons and lying on the couch all morning, and I commend her for it.