This just in: "chuck" has several definitions. Unfortunately, this convolutes my problem: as it turns out, the woodchuck could be a) throwing the wood, b) patting or squeezing the wood fondly under the chin, c) throwing away the wood, d) giving up the wood, or e) ejecting the wood, as in, the forcing of drunk wood from a bar for being too rowdy. And that’s just assuming that "chuck" is functioning as a transitive verb; don’t even get me started on what would happen if it was intransitive. Vexing.

Perhaps it could be better stated, "If a woodchuck was doing something slightly ambiguous with or to wood, would people still read my blog?"