Today I sent/prepared precisely 4,521,998,687,958,940,392,6o0,943,098,630,948 rebates for a computer that I bought. When you factor in postage, I saved 3 cents. Wait, my mistake: I lost 3 cents (for those of you following along at home, I forgot to carry the 6).

Anywho, Sarah had her first day of school today. She'd been a little nervous, but, when she got home, I could tell from her face that she was relieved. And I mean that quite literally: one of her colleagues had written "I'm relieved" across her forehead in permanent marker. Apparently, some sort of pernicious hazing ritual dictates that new teachers must have their emotions visibly present on their person at all times.

She lost interest in this site, and now I can write whatever I want with no repercussions.