According to an infomercial to which I am not paying attention, I can make thousands of dollars by doing nothing. As I’m doing nothing right now, I’m pretty sure I must have already made about $8.

This just in: I checked my wallet, and the infomercial was wrong: it had no more money in it than when I started. What a rip off. If the dog hadn’t just farted, I would rant and rave for several minutes about their audacity. As it stands, I can probably only hold my breath for another 50 seconds or so before I have to breathe in more of the dog fart (hereafter known as either “fog” or “dart”; I’ll decide later or forget about it entirely). Anywho, I think I’ll go to bed.