A lot of people are worried about the economy--and with good reason. But the media isn't helping. Yesterday the stock market "crashed," and all the news outlets reported that the Dow recorded the biggest one-day point drop in the history of the world. Great news. Bad math.

While it's true that the Dow fell 777 points, it began at 11,142. This means that the average fell about 7%. Compare that to Black Thursday (Oct. 24, 1929), where the Dow fell about 13%, a drop almost twice as large as yesterday's. By November 11, 1929, the market had fallen over 40%. In order to see a similar drop today, the Dow would need to fall to 6685 by mid-October. Now that would signal a disaster.

Furthermore, big drops in the Dow don't necessarily indicate impending financial collapse. On Oct. 19,1987, also known at Black Monday, the average fell almost 23%. As you'll recall, there was no "Great Depression" of the late 80's. (In fact, stocks rallied and posted a record gain the very next day).

The point of all this is that these may seem like difficult economic times, and things are harder than they have been in the past few years, but life in the United States is still good, no great. We have food; we have shelter; we have all the IPhones money can buy. How's this for difficult economic times: the unemployment rate in Zimbabwe is currently estimated to be 85% (6.1% in the US), with an inflation rate of 10,000,000% (the next highest inflation rate is Burma, at about 40%). Try buying an IPhone when they cost $3,000,000,000 (that's 3 billion with a B), and you don't have a job.

Yesterday I was working out when the doorbell rang. There was no one immediately visible when I opened the door, but I peeked around the corner of the doorframe and saw that a smallish man with glassy eyes was standing on the porch. He was holding a half-empty Heineken underneath crossed arms, and his breath smelled a lot like the drink wasn't his first of the day. In an Caribbean accent that I couldn't quite place, he slurred, "I'mmm frommm nexxxt dooorr, annd I waas jusst wonder-ring ... doo youu haave a blaack annd white caat? Because itt's a nice caat, buut sometimessss it bugss mee. Look, it'sss righttt there inn my yarddd." He pointed to a cat-sized rock in his yard. Interesting. I looked at the rock for awhile and finally decided, "Nope, that's not ours. We do have three cats, but they stay inside all the time. Our other neighbor might have a cat, but I don't know." To which narrowed his eyes and replied, "Whaatever," as he sauntered back to his porch with a gate that made me wonder if he might have a wooden leg.

In other news, I'm never letting our cats outside--too many pirates around here.

This week, in the classes that I teach, the first assignment of the semester was due. For some reason, a few students always have trouble with figuring out what to do. Since the directions for the assignment are expressly laid out in the textbook in five bullet points, I usually say something like,

"For the love of all that's good in the world, please read the directions and then follow them exactly. It's really important that you do, because some of them are really easy, and I would hate to have to take points away for something silly. For example, look at point number two. It says, 'For one point (out of ten), staple or paperclip everything together.' So, please, please, whatever you do, staple or paperclip all your pages together. That way, I won't feel like a jerk for taking off points for something stupid, and you'll get all your points."

I had this conversation three times:

Student: I don't have a staple.
Me: I'm sorry to hear that.
Student: What should I do?
Me: It's actually totally up to you.
Student: (Confused look) So it's okay if I turn it in?
Me: (smiling/blank expression)
Student: So should I just put my name on everything?
Me: (smiling/blank expression)
Student: (Annoyed look, turns in unstapled paper and leaves)
Me: Have a good day!

Not everyone should go to college.

Yesterday I was at school from 8:30 AM to 8:30 PM. Tomorrow I'll be there from 7 AM to 7 PM. I don't really have any comments about these data, I just thought you should know. Something else you should know? The word "data" is indeed plural (see usage above). Datum is singular. Correct usage = "The data show that..." Incorrect usage = "The data shows that..." That is all.

Revealing thought of the day: The cats frequently make me sneeze. For retribution, I sneeze on them whenever possible.