Vantage: Max

new things

2012-01-22T19:53:00.002-06:00

Sarah and I are still working on getting our new website/blog ready for the world. If you want to take a look at it while it's still under development, the address is www.readysetbutterfield.com

I think it will ready to go in the next few weeks or so. Sarah keeps procrastinating. She's going to deny it, but don't believe her. She's reading over my shoulder right now, so I think I... Now I'm in trouble. I think sharing a blog may present some unexpected challenges.

This week I'm going to be heading to San Diego for a conference. I got a small grant from school to help defray most of the costs, so it's nice to be able to go without too much guilt about spending all of Sarah's hard earned money. I'm presenting some research, but I'm mostly going so that I can stay current and hear what everyone else in the field is doing. This particular conference is held once a year, and many, many social psychologists from all over the world attend, present research, and listen to talks given by other researchers. In other words, it's a nerd convention.

all good things must come to and end

2012-01-09T23:51:00.001-06:00

Sarah and I are working on a new project. And I don't just mean the one where she's incubating a human life in her uterus. I started this blog 6.5 years ago as a way to keep in touch with family when we moved from Michigan to California. In that time, there have been a lot of technological innovations that have made communication a lot easier. Namely, everyone has Facebook now. I've gone from writing almost every day on two blogs, to writing a few times a week on this blog, to writing once a week, to writing once every few weeks.

You all still know what I'm doing most of the time (read: I'm working or watching TV), but I haven't been updating like I could. Meanwhile, Sarah's been faithfully keeping up her Untenured blog for years now as well, but we're both slowing down. We just don't have enough things to write about every day in our mundane live. I'm guessing that might change when the baby comes. Unfortunately, we won't have enough time to blog about all that exciting stuff. See what happened there?

So now that the baby's coming, we want to reorganize and re-focus. We're going to start a new blog that we both contribute to a few times a week. Ultimately, you'll end up with more posts in a central location. Win-win. As things stand right now, the new blog will have some regular features from each of us where we write about our favorite topics (e.g., cooking, everyday encounters, funny things in the news, etc.), and then there'll be there normal day-to-day stuff with the added bonus of new family stuff. We'll also link up a Flickr account for photos and a YouTube account for videos.

In truth, I've been planning all this stuff for a while, but I just couldn't mention anything until the news about the pregnancy was public. I also didn't mention the idea to Sarah until just last week.

Our family isn't going to be just Max and Sarah anymore, so maxandsarah.blogspot.com is getting some updates too. More to come soon...

work in progress

2012-01-05T20:02:00.001-06:00

I know I haven't written in quite a while. I haven't been super busy. I'm just on vacation!

good one

2011-12-14T11:39:00.001-06:00

Yesterday I had to proctor another exam. I hate doing it. I just sit there (or pace the aisle) and watch 120 students to make sure they don't cheat. They usually don't, but sometimes I do catch people. That gets awkward very quickly.

Me: "Whatcha got there?"

Student: "NOTHING. WHAT? WHAT?!?!?!? THAT'S NOT MINE!!!!!!!!!"

Me: "Just give it to me."

Student: "Ok."

I digress. Yesterday it wasn't a very full room because the exam was optional. Students who chose to take it could use that grade to replace a lower one that they'd gotten earlier in the semester. Anyway, everyone was pretty spread out in the room, and I didn't think any cheating was going to happen, so I started grading some of the essay and short-answer questions that had already been turned in.

One of the questions was about Freud's "psychosexual stages of development." Most psychologists don't really use these anymore, but they're still considered an important piece of history to be learned by introductory students. Kind of like in math class how we learn about previous attempts to do math that are now known to be incorrect. Oh wait, we don't do that.

I digress. One of the stages is the "Anal" stage. Freud thought it was really important for kids (aged 18 - 36 months) to be focused on potty training because that's the most important part of their development at that time. Today, we know that other things are more important at that time, but you'd think it was important too if you were living in a society without access to modern diapers. Freud thought that people who didn't progress well through the Anal phase would get hung up on things like neatness and cleanliness. This is where the idea of an anal-retentive (or "anal") personality originated.

The question on the exam I was grading asked students to write the name of the stage (Anal) and to describe the key conflict (potty training). I was going along, grading and minding my own business, when I came across this answer.

Stage: Anal

Key Conflict: Not sticking stuff up ur butt

I, of course, immediately chuckled.The professor (who was sitting next to me, also grading) leaned over to see what I was laughing at. She started laughing. I laughed harder. She laughed harder. The whole time we were trying to be quiet because there were still about 20 students taking the exam and wondering why their professors had just gone INSANE at the front of the room. We just couldn't keep it together. After about 10 minutes of laughing, we finally gathered ourselves.

Here's to "not sticking stuff up ur butt."

rethinking my backup plan

2011-12-08T08:09:00.001-06:00

The other day, I proctored an exam (babysat students to make sure they don't cheat) with a professor. As one of the students was leaving, the professor commented on the student's shirt. The shirt was advertising a luxury hotel in the French Quarter of New Orleans, and the professor said, "Cool shirt. I stayed at that hotel once. It was really nice!" The student proudly responded, "Yeah! It's my family's hotel."

I looked up the hotel later. It's not just a luxury hotel. It's a LUXURY hotel. Like they always say: As a psychology major, you won't make much money without going to graduate school or having some kind of backup plan. My plan was graduate school. Maybe old money and a trust fund would have been a better idea. Live and learn.

Thanksgiving

2011-11-26T23:52:00.001-06:00

Sarah and I have had a great Thanksgiving break so far. Even though we haven't done much out of the ordinary, we've really enjoyed having a house full of guests. We've played games, watched movies, gone shopping (boo!), and eaten. We've eaten a lot. Our pets have especially enjoyed our guests. Lots of extra attention would make anyone happy, I guess.

Um... what?

2011-11-15T18:28:00.001-06:00

I was proctoring an intro psychology exam the other day (watching students and answering questions) when I had an interesting interaction. A student raised her hand to get my attention, so I walked over to see if I could answer her question. I'd already answered a few of her questions that day, so I wasn't really expecting what happened next.

Student: Um...what? Points at question #36.
Me: I looked at her expectantly, waiting for her question.
Student: Alternates between looking blankly at me and blankly at the question.
Me: Um...could you maybe rephrase your question?
Student: Panicked look.
Me: I think this question is just asking you to explain what effect tranquilizing drugs have on your brain.
Student: But...I've never done drugs! How am I supposed to know?
Me: Um...I think this question is asking less about personal experience and more about what your book says...

Did you feel that?

2011-11-06T06:28:00.001-06:00

Last night I watched the big LSU-Alabama football game. It was on late. Sarah was asleep. The house was quiet and still. I felt a weird sensation. Some shaking. It got a little stronger and persisted. My train of thought went like this:

1 second in: What is this, an earthquake?

3 seconds in: Interception! No!!

5 seconds in: Hey, that hanging light fixture is swaying. I think this is actually an earthquake!

7 seconds in: No!! No one is ever going to believe me!

It immediately brought me back to the only other earthquake I've experienced. I can see it vividly. I was three years old (almost four), and Mom and I were over at Grandma and Grandpa's house watering their plants because they were away. I was sitting on their stairway with my head between the rails, and I felt the stairs move underneath me.

Me: "Mom! The stairs are moving!!"

Mom: No, silly.

It turned out that I was feeling a 5.0 earthquake centered about 225 miles away in Cleveland, OH. The one I felt last night was the same distance away, and it was of a similar magnitude (5.6). But, Sarah, the light fixture WAS moving. It was!!

busyness as I see it

2011-11-01T09:33:00.001-05:00

Here's the view of my academic to-do list from my corner of the world.

Thesis journal submission
Quals
Diss. proposal
False signaling project
Ovulation paper
Behavior change project
Anthro & trees project
Anthro & disease project
Self deprecation project
Romanian orphans project
Consulting
EP write-up for Monitor

This stuff is all due yesterday.

8 years of practice makes perf...average at best

2011-10-23T20:37:00.001-05:00

I've been learning to play guitar for something like 8 years. I don't remember exactly when I started, but I know my first guitar was a gift from Grandma and Grandpa during the first year or two that Sarah and I were married. I always still say that I'm learning to play because I'm just ok at it, and it's been a long process. Even if it's slow, at least I keep improving.

The whole time I've been learning to play, I've also been working on my singing voice. When I started, my singing was bad. Really bad. Comically bad. Sarah's mom and sister used to poke each other and snicker at me during church. True story.

I don't really mind being bad at things. That being said, I absolutely hate being bad at something that I devote time to practicing. Like singing. Or playing the guitar. So, I toiled away for years without much improvement in the singing department and only a little improvement in the guitar department. It was very frustrating. I told you, I don't do well when I devote time to something and don't get better at it. It makes me so mad!

I don't know when it happened, but I think the musical area in my brain started to change at some point in the last year or two. I saw very modest, slow improvement. Then about a month ago, I was trying to sing "Bad, Bad Leroy Brown." I say, "trying," because I can never sing this song. Can't hit most of the notes. But I kept going anyway. And I started hitting the notes. All of them. I kept singing but moved on to other songs that I'd never been able to get quite right. And I could sing those too. Totally weird. It was like my brain and my throat finally figured out how to sing a full range of notes. Actually, I think that might be what happened.

Fast forward to last week at church. I was singing along, like usual, and trying not to annoy the people in front of me. During greeting time, the woman in front of me quickly wheeled around, took my hand, told me what a nice voice I had, and said she loves worshiping when good singers sit near her.

I told her she might want to get her hearing checked. Even so the compliment was so nice to hear. Like music to my ears. Get it? Music? Singing? Then, this week a guy next to me patted me on the shoulder as we were leaving and said, "Nice job singing!"

Eight years of practice for two compliments? Totally worth it.

I'm a confusion barometer

2011-10-15T07:03:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I was sitting in my Structural Equation Modeling class, and I was having trouble understanding the concept the professor was teaching. It wasn't just me, either. Everyone was having trouble following along. The professor is a really smart, higher-level math kind of person, and all of us students are just regular-level math kind of people.

So anyway, he kept going and going and everybody was totally lost. Occasionally, he would pause briefly and say things like, "Does that make sense?" Or, "Is everybody following me here?" Of course the answer is, "No, not at all." But hardly anyone is ever willing to say something like that. When he asks these questions, he almost always looks directly at me. I usually ask a lot of questions in class, and I don't mind speaking up when I don't understand something, so I think he sees me as the class's confusion barometer.

That being said, I don't always immediately chime in when I don't understand something, because I like to wait and see if things get a little clearer as class goes forward and the lecture develops. Yesterday, class got about 2/3s of the way through, and it was clear at that point that I wasn't going to get it at all. Just as I was thinking this, the professor again stopped, looked directly at me, and said, "Does everyone understand what I'm saying?" He shielded his eyes from the light of the projector as he stared at me.

Me: If I was going to be totally honest...

Him: Yes...

Me: Do you remember earlier when you said "good morning"?

Him: Yes...

Me: That was the last thing I understood.

The class erupted in laughter. And not just a little bit, it took a few moments for things to calm down again. When they did, the professor (who also thought it was funny) tried to reframe things. But I think I threw him off his game, and even though he tried to simplify things further, class kind of deteriorated from there.

I saw him in the hall later and he told me he was glad that I'd spoken up. I think that means he's going to try and re-format the lecture for us dummies, which means that we get to spend another 50 minutes on Monday talking about the algorithms and matrix algebra that underlie the fit indices procedures used for testing structural equation models. Oh good.

the ALDS is killing me

2011-10-06T09:17:00.001-05:00

The major league baseball playoffs are well underway, and the Tigers managed to make it in this year. In (my) recent memory, this has only happened once: in 2006. I feel compelled to watch. I love baseball, and who knows when the Tigers will next make the post-season. This most recent post-season drought was only 5 years, but the one before that was almost 20 years. What I'm saying is that if I don't watch them now, there's no guarantee I'll ever see them in the playoffs again.

Two problems: (1) They're playing the Yankees, a team you either love or hate. Because they're too good. Every year. Including this year. And there's a good chance the Tigers will lose. (2) ALL THE GAMES START DURING THE TIME I AM NORMALLY BRUSHING MY TEETH AND GOING TO BED.

In short, I haven't been sleeping enough. For instance, the third game of the series was very exciting. Two great pitchers were pitching for each team, and the game was neck and neck throughout. The Tigers pulled out a heartpounding victory around 11 PM, at which time I've normally been sleeping for 2 - 3 hours. Meanwhile, I'm all geeked up like I'm hooked up to a coffee IV drip, and I still have to get up at 5:15 AM. Compound this with the fact that they played games four days in a row, and I'M NOT GETTING ENOUGH SLEEP.

For better or for worse, the series will end tonight. I hope to have to lose a lot more sleep over the next few weeks. Go Tigers!

I might buy a safe

2011-09-27T08:42:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I played basketball during lunch, as I usually do on Mondays. I ended up on a really good team, and we won a bunch of games in a row. One of the guys I was playing with was new. He was a really good athlete but not really a basketball player in the traditional sense. After the game we ran into each other in the locker room and started talking. It turned out he was a former football player (wide receiver) at my school, and he was back now to work as a staff member and to finish his degree. After some more talking, it turned out that he left just a few credits shy of his degree because he got drafted into the NFL by the Minnesota Vikings. He bounced around the league a bit and had to come back from injury a few times. He finished his career with the New England Patriots. As I was leaving, he said, "Hey, since you're a sports fan, I'm going to show you something."

He reaches into his gym bag, pulls out a Superbowl ring, and hands it to me! (I think he'd been wearing it and took it off to play basketball). It turned out that he was with the Pats in 2005, when they won the Superbowl in 2005. It was, far and away, the most impressive piece of jewelry I've ever seen. In size, it seemed like it was almost as big as a tennis ball. Heaviest ring I have ever held. White gold (or maybe platinum) encrusted with diamonds, rubies, and sapphires (the Patriots colors are red, white, and blue). The centerpiece was three giant diamonds shaped like footballs. Totally amazing. I looked it up later: It's worth about as much as my house.

Anyway, he was a really nice guy, and that was probably the most unexpected encounter I have ever had in my life. But if I were him, I don't think I'd keep that thing in my gym bag...

nothing new

2011-09-18T09:45:00.002-05:00

I went to let the cat outside, and when I came back I caught Barney at the computer. I think he's a little sad because he didn't have any new emails.

experimental psychology speak

2011-09-17T07:23:00.001-05:00

The new school year is almost in full swing, and I've been working on typical things. I've been learning to use a new statistics software called R. Unfortunately, it means I've had to start learning a special programming language called S that was developed just for statistics. It's really boring. I'll stop talking about it now.

Next week I'm starting a new study that's going to help figure out why modesty and false modesty are successful strategies for relating to other people. On one level, the answer is obvious. Say you're really good at tennis. If you're playing tennis with a friend and killing them, everyone knows you shouldn't say, "I'm awesome at tennis." If you want them to like you, you should say, "I got lucky today," or "You almost got me this time," or "Do you want to go get some ice cream? My treat!"

Most people intuit that this way of relating to people is successful because it makes you seem nice, or because it makes people like you. But I'm trying to get at the "why" on a deeper level. In experimental psychology speak, I'm trying to figure out the "cognitive processes that underlie this phenomenon."

I'll let you know if I ever get it figured out.

I knew it felt warm

2011-09-08T13:06:00.001-05:00

I've been complaining about the heat down here a lot this summer. As it turns out, I had good reason. The national weather service just announced that our summer here in Texas was the hottest on record. FOR THE ENTIRE UNITED STATES. That is, no one has ever had a hotter summer. Anywhere. Ever. Not since they've been keeping records, anyway. Oh, unless you count other countries.

I'm hoping it'll be something in between

2011-09-05T09:48:00.002-05:00

In honor of Labor Day, I'm not planning on doing any labor. Not if I can help it. Sarah and I both seem to be getting sick. I suspect she brought something home with her from school, but I can't prove it. Yet. Since I've last written, I haven't had a whole lot going on. I'm just getting back to the swing of things at school, a task that's going to be made difficult because typhoid Sarah keeps bringing back microbes that will eventually kill us both. Best case scenario my headache and sore throat turn into the plague and we both have to be euthanized. Worst case scenario we start a zombie apocalypse. I'm hoping it will be something in between.

back again

2011-08-25T19:36:00.002-05:00

This week is the first week 'back' to school for the new school year. I say 'back' because I never really left for a long summer break. That said, I do work from home for the majority of the time in the summer, so my summer schedule is different from my typical schedule, and it's already been an adjustment being away from home 12 hours a day instead of 0.

Other than that, I'm doing lots of the same things. This semester I'm taking another statistics course (Structural Equation Modeling--I don't know what it is either). I'm working on writing up the results of some of the research I did last year, and I'm coming up with new research ideas.

One nice thing about being back on campus is that I get to play basketball twice a week. As usual, I took the summer of from competitive basketball (but still shot around in the gym a few times a week). I played on Monday. On Tuesday I realized, given the many protestations from my body, that I'm old. But that won't stop me from playing tomorrow...

man's best friend

2011-08-17T10:03:00.002-05:00

Two evenings ago, Sarah and I were sitting on the couch watching TV. Barney was sleeping on the arm of the couch nearest to me. Everything was peaceful, but when the show ended, I said something snarky to Sarah about going to bed. She lunged at me, threatening a windmill punch. (Over-react much?). Barney sprang to my aid and starting barking at her. Thanks pal.

Yesterday, we were again watching TV. Barney was sleeping in the same spot and everything was again at peace. When the show ended, Sarah said something snarky to me about going to bed. I started tickling her, and she starting screaming and writhing on the couch (I guess because she liked it). Barney again leaped from his perch. Instead of helping Sarah in her time of need as he'd done for me the day before, he jumped on her and pawed at her armpits. Thanks pal.

I have trained you well, grasshopper.

short but sweet this year

2011-08-13T10:13:00.000-05:00

Sarah and I finally made it home. All in all, our trip looked like this. On the first day, we drove from Texas to Knoxville, TN. We stayed in an exorbitantly priced Motel 6 just outside Great Smokey Mountains National Park. The scenery was beautiful. The Motel 6 was not. The second day, we drove from Knoxville to Princeton. It was hot, almost Texas hot (This was right in the middle of the big heat wave on the east coast.)

We stayed in Princeton for two weeks. As I've mentioned, I had a really great time at my workshop. I got to meet lots of people in my field, some from as far away as New Zealand. Others from as close by as the city next door to ours. Princeton has a great campus, and it was a lot of fun experiencing a new school for a little bit. During the two weeks, I learned a lot about how to research group behavior. I also got to take a trip to New York City and to the Jersey shore.

After leaving Princeton, Sarah, Matt, Rebekah, and I all went to Maine to visit Peter and his girlfriend Lindsay. It was a long drive, and we got stuck in a huge traffic jam in New Hampshire and Maine. It was worth it, though, because we got to see Peter and Lindsay for a few days. We all had a great time. Sarah went tent camping for the first time. She especially liked the hotdogs and s'mores that we had around the campfire. She did not like the rain and subsequent damp sleeping bags/damp everything. I think that's pretty understandable. Maine was really great also. Lots of nice scenery and mom and pop shops and restaurants. One night when we were driving back to our campsite, we almost hit a porcupine. I honked and he turned his butt toward us and put up his quills as he sauntered away.

After leaving Maine, we made the drive back to Princeton to drop off Matt and Rebekah, pick up the rest of our stuff, and sleep for one night. We said our goodbyes the next day and headed 3.5 hours down the road to Washington D.C. to visit some of our friends who just bought a rowhouse right in the middle of D.C. It was a short visit, but we had a really good time. We stayed up late talking, and then got up at 4:45 AM the next morning to start the 22 hour drive back home.

The drive home was very long. I didn't get tired until the very, very end (about 30 minutes from home). At one point I thought I saw a dinosaur walking along the side of the highway. I didn't. We finally pulled into our driveway at 2 AM. The cats and house were fine; although, they'd apparently had some sort of barfing contest while we were gone. I don't know who won, but it wasn't us.

And that's it. Sarah starts school on Monday, and I'm in the middle of getting back to work today. Goodbye summer. You were short but sweet this year.

2011-08-05T07:56:00.000-05:00

Today is the last day of my summer program. I'll be sad to see it go. I've had a great time, and it's going to be a bummer to leave Hogwarts and head back home to regular life. Fortunately, we're going to head up to Maine to go camping and see Peter for a few days. It'll be Sarah's first time tent camping, so hopefully we'll have good weather and a great time. After that, we'll be heading back home with a quick stop in Washington D.C. to see our friends there. For now, I've got to run a catch a bus...

updates from afar

2011-07-31T07:00:00.000-05:00

I've been having a great time at Princeton. I'm learning a lot and making new friends and contacts. It's also been really fun spending time with Matt and Rebekah. Today, the four of us are taking a day trip to New York City. It will be by Sarah and my first time there. There's lots to do, and we everyone keeps telling me that I have to put on pants before we can go, so I have to start getting ready. More to come!

I'll get right on that

2011-07-20T21:36:00.004-05:00

Saw a job posting today for a job at an overseas university. Here's all they're looking for:

The chosen candidate will teach a general mix of Communications and Humanities and Social Sciences courses including Written Communication, Oral Communication, Technical and Corporate Communication, Research Writing, World Civilizations, International Relations, Sociology, Media Literacy, Psychology, Critical Thinking, Professional Development, Leadership & Teamwork, and Assessment Capstone Courses.

Well, when I finish this PhD, let me go out and get 7 more, and then I'll hurry up and apply.

it seems unlikely, but...

2011-07-16T13:54:00.004-05:00

If you haven't seen the news, the heat here has been ridiculous. It was 107º yesterday, and it wasn't a dry desert heat either. It was a burn-your-butt when-you-get-in-the-car-and-drench-your-clothes-when-get-out-of-the-car-and-walk-four-steps-to-get-to-the-house kind of heat. And no one gave me any free food today, so double annoying.

I've been busying inside, trying to get all my work done before our trip to the Northeast starts next week. I hit a setback on Monday when I came down with some sort of mystery ailment. It started with some muscle cramps when I took Barney for our daily jog. Later that night, I developed a high fever, headache, and muscle cramps. I've been through all those things before, but for some weird reason, it was probably the most uncomfortable I've been in my whole life. That includes breaking my face and all of the times I've thrown out my back.

It's really weird. No one else around was sick, and I didn't seem to have passed it to anyone. The worst of it lasted for about 36 hours, but my temperature regulation is still off. I'm sweating a puddle into the couch right now, and I just feel really off. Because I got eaten alive by mosquitos while I was working outside about a week before I got sick (probably 50 - 100 bites), I kept (half) joking to Sarah about how I must have gotten Malaria.

In reality, I just figured it was the flu or food poisoning or something, but then tonight something I saw on TV that reminded me about West Nile Virus. So I looked it up. One of the variants of the virus is something called West Nile Fever. It fits my symptoms very well. Add that to the mosquito bites, the fact that West Nile been found in our area, and the fact that no one else is sick or getting sick. It really makes me wonder if I actually got it.

If I did, it's good news in a way. Sure, I was really sick and uncomfortable, but there's a pretty good chance I'm now inoculated against any future outbreaks.

there's no such thing as a free lunch

2011-07-08T18:18:00.008-05:00

It's 6:16 PM. It's 106º. It's so hot, in fact, that I'm going insane. Let me outline the evidence for you.

1) Today is Chick-Fil-A's annual "cow appreciation day."
a) If you dress like a cow, they give you free a free meal.
b) Another way of saying this is that they give you a free meal if dress like a jackass.
2) I have a long history of refusing to be a jackass (or a cow).
a) For example, I refused to do this last year, even when Sarah went without me.
3) Today, I did not refuse.

They say the food is free, but that's not true. There's a social cost. Oh, also, a little part of your soul dies.

more adventures in manland

2011-07-06T08:18:00.000-05:00

Before about two weeks ago, I knew approximately nothing about car maintenance. I take that back. I knew that I had to take the car in to an auto shop for regular maintenance and a wallet-emptying procedure. At the shop, manly, grease-stained men would do things to my car that I couldn't. But no more. Now, because of the internet, it is me who is grease stained.

When Sarah's car turned over 100,000 miles, I figured it was time for a major tune up. Instead of taking it to a local shop, I took it to Google. (Figuratively speaking, of course. As far as I know, search engines don't actually do the car repair for you. If you figure out how to get them to, please let me know ASAP.). Then I went to Amazon and bought a bunch of parts. Then I went to Autozone and Wal-Mart for more stuff.

All in all, I ended up changing the spark plugs, oil, transmission fluid, fuel filter, fuel pressure regulator, air filter, and accessories belt (the thing that powers the air conditioning, radio, electronics, fans, etc.). I also fixed a broken muffler strap, checked the freon level in the air conditioning, and later I'm going to flush and replace the radiator fluid.

Although I had to buy a few new tools, I probably spent less than $100 on actual parts for the car. I'd guess that the same services a shop would have cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $500-1000. So all in all, I spent (much) less than I would have at a shop, and I get to keep the tools. I love the internet.

Just as long as I did everything right that is. The day the transmission falls out of the car, I'll probably be singing (screaming) a different tune.

adventures in manhood

2011-06-28T22:01:00.003-05:00

In addition to all my statistics calculations this week, I've been a man's man. I cleaned the garage. I replaced our kitchen faucet, again (the one I installed this spring was faulty, and we had to exchange it for a new one). I changed the spark plugs in Sarah's car. I was a man. The only reason I did these things was because I was avoiding doing the work of a real man: plumbing.

I don't think I mentioned it before, but the toilet in our guest bathroom had become completely detached from the floor about three weeks ago. How did that happen? Sarah really had to go, and there wasn't any stopping her, if you know what I mean. (Okay, I sat on it the day after the big storm and noticed it was loose. Part of the mattress had been resting on it while we were hiding from the hail. Furthermore, as I found out later, the toilet itself had been installed poorly.)

Like with most things, the problem didn't seem like it was going to be that hard to fix. Like with most things, it was hard to fix.

First I tried to work around the mistakes of the previous installation. The unpleasantness began when I was on my hands and knees peering up inside the toilet (which I had emptied and drained about 2 weeks ago). I was trying to line up some new parts on the toilet bowl with the newly exposed sewer pipe. I wanted to get it right, but I also wanted to get out of there quickly. Open sewer pipes aren't particularly pleasant. Sarah was helping me by holding the toilet steady as it rested precariously on it's front edge, tipped slightly so I could see underneath. I held the flashlight in one hand, and I used my other hand to fiddle with the new parts. My face was about an inch from the floor, and I was craning my neck to see what I was doing under there.

That's when a fist-sized ball of compacted poop slid down from it's perch on top of some sort of internal poop-holding shelf, past and against both my hands, and onto the floor next to my face. Plop.

Surprisingly, I didn't feel like vomiting immediately. But as the smell wafted over me and filled the room, some unpleasant thoughts began to collect in my head. "Hmmm... There appears to be more in there. A lot more." "Hmm... I think I'm going to have to clean it up if I'm going to finish." "Hmmm... there's no telling how long that stuff has been collecting here. Definitely weeks. Maybe months. Maybe years. Maybe some of it isn't even ours." "Oh, the humanity!"

As I scraped it all into a box that had been sitting nearby, I pretty much lost it. Emotionally. Mentally. Physically. Vomitorally. I can still smell faintly it as I write about it. It happened 4 days ago.

It was a definite turning point in the whole operation. I took the toilet out into the yard, flushed it out with the hose, and let it sit in the 100 degree sun. Then I flushed it out with the hose again. Then I cleaned it. Meanwhile Sarah went to the store and bought bleach. When she got back, she gave all the surfaces in the bathroom a thorough cleaning.

I decided to scrap the attempt to fix the broken parts. I drilled new holes into the concrete foundation and installed a new brass closet flange (the thing that holds the toilet to the floor; the previous owners used a plastic one, and they installed it wrong, hence my current issue). Then I figured out that I could use a pair of washers to fix a design flaw in the new flange. Then I installed the new seals, put the toilet back on, and tried to forget any of it ever happened.

Unfortunately, I will never forget.

back to the grind

2011-06-22T09:44:00.000-05:00

We were in Michigan all last week, but it's back to grind today. It was great to be there, and it was especially great to be away from here in the summer. Most days it was 20-30 degrees cooler there than here.

Despite a torrential downpour during the last hour of our trip (we even had to pull off the highway for a few minutes), we made it back safely last night around midnight. Twenty hours in the car is a long time, but it definitely could have been worse. We didn't hit any traffic or major construction delays, and the car didn't give us any trouble or anything like that.

Unfortunately, now that we're back, I have to get back to my homework.

fun with stats

2011-06-12T11:12:00.004-05:00

All of the statistics I use as a researcher boil down to a simple equation.

outcome = model + error

Researchers come up with theories that try to explain the world (the model), but these models are always imperfect (the error). We use statistics to determine how accurately our models explain the way the world works (outcome).

Most of the statistical techniques used in psychology were invented by statisticians who are much smarter than I am. In some cases, they worked for years to make equations that would be simple enough for regular people to use. Today everything is really easy: There are computer programs that make the simple equations a snap to calculate. Instead of doing a TON of simple calculations by hand, you input your data into a program. With a few clicks of the mouse, the program tells you how accurate your model is.

The trouble, I'm told, is that to become a competent researcher, you need to understand the theory behind the complex equations. The best way to understand the theory? Hand calculations. Below are my 12 pages of calculations (each is front and back) from one assignment out of FIVE. It took me three days. The next two assignments will be much more intensive. I also did these calculations with the computer (also part of the assignment). That took less than a minute.

nice try jerk-face

2011-06-04T08:28:00.000-05:00

We've had quite a few roofing companies stop by and offer their services in the last 10 days or so I've gotten 3 bids so far ($4650, $4800, and $6681), but I'm waiting to hear back from the insurance company before I do anything.

The lowest bid was from a husband-and-wife team based about two miles from the house. When they came out to look at the roof, the husband drank a Slurpee from the ground while the wife went onto the roof to inspect it. Their Ford F150 had all sorts of ladders and equipment, and it looked like it had been used for a lot of jobs. They've been in business for a long time, so I figure they're probably a safe bet to do a good job.

The highest bid was from a national company based a few towns over. Their guy came just before I got home for the day. When he came back a few minutes later to discuss the bid, he was driving a Honda Ridgeline without any equipment in the back (great driving truck, NOT a working truck). He was all about sales: from his pitch about how they use more nails than typical roofers, to the 'exact' bid of $6681 (designed to instill confidence because it is so 'precise').

When I asked him what he saw up on the roof, he gave me a stock answer about loose granules that would apply to any roof that needed replacing. Question: Given that there's nothing in the back of your fancy truck, how did you get on my roof without a ladder? Nice try, jerk-face.

glad to be okay

2011-05-26T07:04:00.000-05:00

Tuesday night was pretty uneventful until about 7:45. After eating dinner and watching some TV, Sarah was checking her email one last time while I played a few songs on guitar. Unexpectedly, we heard our town's warning sirens begin a slow, "WWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHNNNNNNNN."

The city tests the sirens every Wednesday at noon. My first thought was, "Hey, it's not Wednes... Hey! Wait a second!" I immediately checked the weather online and saw that there was a Tornado warning for our specific city. Not just our area. Not just a 'watch.' A warning for our city.

After seeing images of the devastation in Joplin, MO, we weren't about to take any chances. We immediately headed to the only windowless room in our house: the guest bathroom. I did some more checking online and saw that the nasty stuff--including baseball-sized hail--wasn't forecasted to hit for another 15-20 minutes.

We went back out to do more preparing. We got our cell phones. I put a mattress over the tub. We turned on the TV to check the radar. In retrospect, we should have done a little more (e.g., brought food, water, and flashlights into the bathroom). Then Sarah wondered aloud if we should bring one of the cars into the garage. I quickly made room for it (all my re-modeling stuff was still spread out in there), and the hail started just as we got it inside. I parked my car in the driveway. It was partially protected by an overhang and two trees. As I ran back into the house, I got pelted by a few pieces about the size of a dime. It hurt.

You hear forecasters say a lot about softball-sized hail or golf-ball sized hail. Usually it's all hype. Not so fast.

I collected those pieces after the big ones stopped falling. Given that they had about 15 minutes to melt in the 80-90 degree heat, I'd say we probably did have softball-sized hail. And the back yard was covered with these (and others that were smaller).

We spent most of the rest of the night in and out of the bathroom with all the pets. Things could have been a lot worse. We're thankful we still have a house. I'm working on getting somebody out to look at our roof, but I think we sustained some damage that will reduce the life of our already middle-aged roof. We hope the insurance will cover it. My car also has about 20 dents on the roof and trunk lid (the size of nickels and dimes) and a broken tail light. I don't think we'll submit a claim for that, because it's probably pretty close to our deductible in damage. I've already ordered a new tail light online, but I'm pretty bummed about driving around a dented car for the next 10 years.

isn't that 'convenient'

2011-05-15T20:45:00.001-05:00

I bought new handles for the drawers. Worst decision so far with the kitchen. The old handles were an oddly narrow width, so I knew from the outset that I was going to have fill the original holes. I used a 'convenient' pre-mixed spackling compound made especially for filling holes in things like wood. It even came in a 'convenient' tube. About a week ago, I used it to fill the holes, beginning my descent into the abyss of 'convenience.'

Today I drilled the new holes. After I finished, I noticed that the holes on the right side of each drawer had slightly merged with the old holes because the spackle wasn't nearly as hard as the original wood. The drill bit got sucked right into the 'convenient' spackle and eviscerated it because it was so weak. The holes on the left side weren't affected because they were far from the original holes (like I said, the originals were a weird diameter). Maybe the 'convenient' pre-mixed spackle from a tube wasn't as convenient as I thought. Oh well.

I got to work putting on the handles. "Wait, why does this look like it's going to be crooked? Oh, that's because the holes on this drawer are crooked. Wait, they're crooked on ALL the drawers!?!?!" "Oh, but didn't you want crooked handles on all your drawers?" "Well, no, 'convenient' spackling compound, I didn't." Oh well.

It was then that I noticed that the screws that came with the new handles weren't long enough to go all the way through the super-thick faceplates on the drawers. Oh well, I went to work on both problems. I fixed the length problem by countersinking the holes (countersinking is a procedure in which you drill big holes partway through your piece of wood and on top of your little holes; this allows the heads of the screws to 'sink' partway into the wood in order to reach all the way through on the other side).

Unbeknownst to me, this extra drilling further compromised the 'convenient' spackling compound. And by further compromised, I mean that it destroyed it entirely and made it impossible to install these handles or any others. But I didn't notice this, of course, until after I had drilled giant new holes into all 8 drawers. I drilled them in an assembly line fashion for 'convenience,' but the destruction only became apparent when I went to re-install the first handle. Oh well.

Tomorrow I'm going to use the last of the 'convenient' spackling compound to fill the millions of holes I created in the drawers. Then I'll sand, prime, and repaint all of the newly-filled holes. Then I'll install knobs. Then I'll wish that the inventor of 'convenient' spackling compound had never been born. The end.

September it is

2011-05-10T06:10:00.001-05:00

One coat of primer and three coats of paint later, the outside of the cabinets are done. I still have to paint the final coat inside the cabinets, and put 2-3 coats inside the drawers, but I think I'm making progress. A little: I also still have to get new pulls (or repaint the old ones, I can't decide) and put all the hardware back on (hinges, pulls, etc.).

Yesterday, I put what may be the coat of on the walls and ceiling. I still have to do some touchup and paint the trim, but that shouldn't be nearly as difficult as what I've done so far. I think I took for granted how many nooks and crannies we have in the kitchen (two levels of ceiling, several outcroppings, lots of corners, etc.). Painting the ceiling a different color (white) than the walls (light blue) may have been a little too ambitious.

I'd hoped to finish my project before I head back to school today for the start of my summer classes, but I didn't quite make it. I guess I'll have to shoot for September. Oh well, painting will be a nice distraction from statistics. Or maybe vice versa.

Home Improvement

2011-05-06T05:58:00.001-05:00

I've been busy since Tuesday 'remodeling' the kitchen. Really all I'm doing is painting the walls, cabinets, and ceilings, but there's a lot of tricky/tedious prep work. First I had to take the cabinets apart. Then I had to remove 50-year-old wallpaper. That latter part took two days. Then I had to wash everything (walls, cabinets, ceiling, etc.). Twice. A lot of grease and grime builds up after a half-century of use. Then I had to sand everything. Then I had to wipe everything down. Then I had to fill 50 years worth of nail holes.

After three days, I've finally reached the point where I can get a stomach ache...I mean start applying primer to the walls (maybe I'm not allergic to paint anymore?).

birthdays are the worst

2011-05-03T07:43:00.000-05:00

Somehow Sarah's birthDAY became an extended three-day-birthWEEKEND extravaganza. We went out for breakfast. We went to the zoo. We went out for ice cream. Twice. And that was just this morning. I also made homemade pizza, cake, buttercream frosting, and chocolate-and-sprinkle-covered cake balls. I had to widen the doorframe just so we could go to the store to get more food.

All this just reminds me that my birthday is coming up soon. Traditionally, what I do to celebrate is to get in a bad mood for approximately a week. It starts by chastising myself about poor career decisions and contemplating my mis-spent youth. It transisitions to fretting about my mortality, and telling Sarah that I don't want to do anything for my birthday. It ends when I realize that it's too late to actually do something, at which point I spend the rest of the day lamenting about how we didn't do anything to celebrate and vowing to do something fun the next year. Rinse and repeat.

I think the real problem is that I go into some sort of sugar-induced funk after coming down from the 'high' of Sarah's eatingfest...I mean...birthday...I mean birthmonth.

I'm flattered...but I have to go to bed

2011-04-28T09:48:00.001-05:00

Last night I was singing and playing guitar in our spare bedroom. I was just finishing up with one of the last songs I was planning on doing when I glanced toward the window. A face was pressed up against the glass, leering at me from outside.

My brain momentarily short-circuited as I tried to process what I was seeing. Whatisthat?!?!?NO!!WHOisthat?!Ishegoingtomurderme???Isthisajoke?!NO!!It'sreal!!NO!!It'sacartoon?No, wait, it's a kid. Specifically, it was our 3-year-old neighbor. One side of our house has no fence, just a little strip of grass and some windows that face our neighbor's garage. Unbeknownst to me (but beknownst to his mother, who was watching from their driveway), he had sidled up to the window to watch, listen, and dance. And he was not pleased that I'd stopped playing.

He pressed in closer and frowned. I waved and then played a few more songs. He smiled and danced some more. Ok, kid, it's 8:30 and you (read: I) have to go to bed. Sarah and I turned off the lights and went into the other room to get ready for bed. He banged on the windows outside our bedroom in protest.

It's official. I have a fan.

alright, alright II: alright already

2011-04-26T19:41:00.001-05:00

Thanks for the kind words. There, I said it. P.S. You are biased by genetics and love, and love caused by genetics, and genetics caused by love.

In other news, I bonked heads with a guy on the basketball court during a rough game yesterday. I was trying to steal the ball from him when the bone that protects my eye hit his head. Hey body: Good job protecting my eye, what does a guy have to do around here to get an eyebone-protecting bone?

I don't have a black eye, exactly. I would call it more of a mark that makes me look like a female model. You know, the ones who wear purple eyeshadow or mascara or whatever they use to look lusty. (Lusty? Is that a thing?). Only, because I've only got the mark on one eye, I look more like someone trying to make a fashion statement. Or a visually challenged lady of the night.

Fortunately for me, my condition is just temporary. Unfortunately for the other guy, he's afflicted by oafishness and anger that won't fade quite so quickly. At another one point during the game (before we bonked heads), he turned to me, glared down (he was a BIG guy), and screamed in my face: "If you ever do that again, I swear to *&^ that I'm going to punch you in your &*^%$%^ face, $%#$%^."

I have no idea what I did, but I did quickly discern that he needed a breath mint. Which is exactly what I told him. He didn't understand the hilarity of my response.

alright, alright

2011-04-25T09:08:00.001-05:00

I've been bored with blogging for a while now. Maybe a year, maybe a little less, I don't really remember any more. After approximately six years of writing about what's going on in my daily life, I don't have a lot of novel things to say. And I'm pretty sure you've noticed too. I did this, I did that, blah, blah, blah.

A few years ago, I started sleeping right. Started going to bed early, getting up early. I started eating three balanced meals every day, working out every day. Gradually, Sarah and I developed a consistent routine.

Wake up at 5:21, take the dog out, feed the cats, let the dog in, work out (me)/take the dog for a walk (Sarah), eat breakfast, get ready for work, work, come home, make dinner (me)/take the dog for a walk (Sarah), eat dinner, watch TV, eat dessert, play guitar/read/watch more TV, get ready for bed, read the Bible, go to sleep. Rinse. Repeat.

I am not exaggerating. This happens every day. Saturdays and Sundays we don't go to work, but everything else still happens in the same succession. There are only so many times I can write about this without tearing my hair out. And it's going to start falling out soon eventually, so I can't really do that right now.

the beginning of the middle

2011-03-31T10:08:00.001-05:00

I've been working on and off since last week to complete all the requirements for my upcoming 'graduation.' It's odd. They're giving me a degree. I'm graduating. But I'm not actually going anywhere, and nothing is going to change at school or elsewhere. Anyway, I'm almost done. I just have to corral a few more signatures and submit a few more documents, and then I'll be finished with a process that began around this time last year (when I started to think about doing my thesis).

When I start my dissertation, the whole process will start all over again on a much larger scale. I don't really want to think about it. Because I'll probably pee a little.

thesis defended

2011-03-24T09:23:00.001-05:00

My thesis defense went well yesterday. There weren't really any major hiccups. I do have to make a few changes before I can turn in my official final copy to the dean's office, but it isn't something that is going to be too monumental. I should be able to get it all finished in a week or so. Then I'll have to wait for a while to get all the official signatures, paperwork, etc. And then that will be pretty much it for Master's v.2.0. Graduation isn't until the first week of May, though, so nothing is officially official until then...

back to the grind

2011-03-20T08:47:00.001-05:00

Got back safely from Michigan last night a little before midnight, and it was balmy when I stepped out of the car. Maybe 70 degrees still. Twenty hours in the car definitely makes for a long trip, but the nice weather on our return was a pleasant surprise. The house was pretty much as we left it, with the addition of a role of paper towels knocked onto the floor and strewn about the kitchen. I guess the cats got a little bored.

I don't have too many plans for today. I think Sarah's going to do some cleaning, and I'll probably go to the store to get food so we can eat this week. I'm going to defend my thesis on Wednesday, a week earlier than I initially planned (I switched spots with someone else who needed a little more time). I'm basically ready for it, but I'm going to do a dry run with my advisor on Tuesday.

Other than that, things will go back to normal on Monday, and it will be back to the daily grind. Bummer.

so close, so far

2011-03-11T14:37:00.001-06:00

I still have another few hours before spring break officially begins, but I'd really like to start right now. There are papers to be graded, and they're glaring at me from across my desk. It doesn't appear that they're going to grade themselves. Let me check... Nope, I think I'm going to have to do it. Oh well, maybe next time.

the usuals

2011-03-05T07:02:00.000-06:00

I've spent the last 10 days or so doing typical things. I've been doing a little research here and there. I've made some more revisions to my thesis. I'm on my last draft before I will defend it in front of the committee (on March 30). I also played basketball three times this week. We won our first intramural playoff game via a mercy rule (we were up by 40 with 10 minutes to go). Game two is on Monday, and I think our competition is going to be much better.

I got some more good news this week. I was accepted for that special summer program I applied to back in November or December. I'll learn some specialized methods of data analysis and some other new techniques for research, and it will look nice on my CV. More importantly, we'll get to visit Matt and Rebekah for two weeks!

Today Sarah and I are going to go to the Cheesecake Factory to use a gift card she won a while back, so that should be fun. We're also planning on stopping at Costco and running a few errands, which is slightly less fun, but what are you going to do. At some point I also have to do the all of the spring yard work (trimming, giving the grass it's first mowing, etc.), but I think I'm in the process of seeing how long that can be put off...

weekly basketball and thesis update

2011-02-22T08:12:00.002-06:00

I finished the first draft of the final copy of my thesis document on Sunday morning. I'll probably be making changes to it in consultation with my advisor over the next few weeks or so. It's nice to have a draft done, but I've still got quite a bit of work to do if I'm going to be able to get it done and defended before the end of the semester (do-able, but quite a bit of work).

Intramural basketball was fun last night. After a pretty unimpressive first half (I only scored 2 points), I had a great run in the second half. In one 3-4 minute stretch, I had a layup, three 3-pointers in a row, and a three-point play (for a total of 14 straight points). It was just one of those days. I finished with 18 points, and we turned a close game into a blowout by the end.

It was a nice end to an otherwise uneventful day. I'll take it.

UPDATE:

Today just got a lot more eventful. Last week, I submitted a paper to Psychological Science, arguably psychology's best journal. In order to get published, the paper has to get past a cursory initial review from an editor (stage 1). It then has to get past reviews from three of the top scholars in the particular sub-subfield of the paper's topic (stage 2). It then has to get past the editor again (stage 3).

Psych Science gets almost 3,000 submissions a year from all different kinds of psychologists, and they typically reject 60-85% during stage 1. I just found out today that my paper got past stage 1. It's a miracle!

The bad news: They typically reject another 65% of the papers that get to stage 2, so the paper probably won't end up getting published. I won't find out the final decision for about two months, though, so at least I can celebrate the good news until then!

busy busy

2011-02-18T14:29:00.001-06:00

I've been busy writing my thesis this past week. I really don't have all that much more to go. Just some polishing up to do, and then I have to make any changes that my advisor suggests. After I get done writing this first draft of the final version, it should take a few week to get it ready to defend before my committee, but I'm definitely about to enter the home stretch.

In other news, I may have broken my nose on Monday. It was, of course, during my intramural basketball game. I was playing defense, and the offensive guy was getting frustrated and slammed into me. I'm 90 % sure that it was an accident, though, that his head ended up hitting me right in the bridge of my nose. The only reason I doubt that it might have been an accident? He never apologized.

Anyway, I started to bruise immediately (so said my teammates). At halftime, I went to the bathroom to check it out in the mirror. It was definitely bruised. But it was also straighter than it used to be! Free nose jobs for everyone! Now, four days later, my nose is still purple and yellow, but it's definitely still straight. I'm not sure if it's just because of the swelling or the discoloration or what. I guess once everything goes away we'll find out.

Back to my thesis.

chalk up another one

2011-02-09T18:28:00.002-06:00

We had freezing rain again last night, and Sarah and I both had the day off today. I was smart enough to bring home my laptop this time, though, so I was able to work all day anyway. I think that officially qualifies me as an idiot.

wintery week

2011-02-07T17:14:00.001-06:00

Last week was a record. Sarah and I both had four days in a row of canceled school. Unfortunately, I didn't really expect it. I left my laptop at school. The roads were too dangerous to risk going in for it, so I had to work at home without a lot of my important stuff (statistics software, data, etc.). I did a lot of reading in the current issues of the psychology journals I'm supposed to keep up with, and I tried learn a little bit more about a few new topics that I'm going to have to write about in the next few months. Other than that, Sarah and I just tried to keep each other from going crazy in the absence of being able to leave the house. One of us was successful. The other of us is Sarah.

San Antonio among other things

2011-02-01T17:27:00.001-06:00

I spent a good chunk of last week down in San Antonio. I was at the annual convention of the Society for Personality and Social Psychology. SPSP is an organization that most people in my field belong to. When you join, you give them money, and they send you journals that they may or may not let you publish your work in. If you want to go to the annual conference to hear more about the research it costs extra. But they'll let you 'publish' (put up) a poster with your research on it. I got the student discount. Only $125.

San Antonio was a lot of fun. I stayed at the Crockett Hotel, right across the street from the Alamo. The best part of the city is probably the Riverwalk. Or maybe the smell of horse droppings. No, the Riverwalk is better. The narrow river meanders through downtown, and the (concrete) banks are tightly lined with trees and 3-4 story restaurants and shops. There are no barriers between the walkway/patios and the river, so I'm sure hundreds of drunk people fall in every year. My only regret was that I didn't see it happen.

The conference was great. I got to hear a bunch of interesting talks, and I met a few of the 'celebrities' of social psychology. They acted like they didn't know who I was. Too star-struck, I guess. After spending a few days in the "hill country" and elsewhere in south-central Texas, I think I now know where all the stereotypes of Texas come from. There were cacti, mustaches, and lots of tasty Tex-Mex and BBQ. When I left San Antonio it was 75 and sunny. When I got home it was 76 and sunny. Now, three days later, Sarah and I both have snow days because of 1 - 3 inches of sleet (ice) accumulation on every major road/surface. The high today was 19. Definitely quite a change.

Fortunately, I was able to get in my intramural basketball game last night before the weather hit. It was a close game, but we ended up pulling away at the end to win. I had a good time. I scored 12 points and was able to get in some quality minutes. Next week we play a group of guys from the ROTC program. I'm sure they're going to be in great shape, so we're probably going to get run into the ground. If I survive, I'll let you know how that turns out.

first game

2011-01-25T09:19:00.001-06:00

I had my first intramural basketball game last night. Despite being out past my bedtime, I had a good time. We were getting killed in the first half by 15 or so points, but we ended up making a comeback and winning 41 - 38. The other team had the ball with 7 seconds left and a chance to tie the game with a three-pointer, but I was able to block the attempt as time expired. All in all, I had a pretty good game: I scored 10 points, and all but 2 were in the last few minutes to help us seal the deal. I also came home with two egg-sized bumps: one on forearm and one on my knee. As a result, I'm pretty sore this morning. I think I'm old. The end is near.

it's all fun and games until someone sets a deadline

2011-01-23T07:08:00.001-06:00

Because it's still the beginning of the semester, my work hasn't started to pile up yet. And neither has the resultant stress. This semester is set up to be the best term of all time for me (as a grad student) in terms of the potential to get work done. I've only got one class (a seminar where we just sit and talk about research ideas), and I have to skip most of it every week because I'm teaching a class that meets in the middle of it. So that leaves me with most of every day available for research and writing. If all goes well, I'll be able to defend my thesis in April or so, which will leave me on track to get my dissertation started next year, which will leave me on track to get a job in 2032.

One nice thing about the first few weeks of this semester is that I've been able to do little (or no) work on the weekends. True, there have only been two so far, but I'll take what I can get. I've been filling my time with things like rearranging our files, cleaning the garage, etc. Yesterday, I would have liked to get our taxes done, but Sarah hasn't gotten her W-2s yet, so that was out. Instead, I ended up making a big batch of granola, two homemade pizzas, and pierogies (sauteed homemade pasta filled with rosemary and garlic mashed potatoes). Then I freaked Sarah out by rearranging all the furniture in the living and dining rooms.

But that doesn't leave me with much to do in the four hours I have before church today. Maybe I'll put all of the furniture back.

don't try and text me your comments

2011-01-14T10:00:00.001-06:00

Let me preface this story by reminding most of you that I am a generally tech-savvy kind of guy. I know about the newest gadgets and trends, and I can usually find my way around all-things electronic without any problems. One place where I've been left behind? Texting. Cell phones hit the mainstream (when almost everyone had one) about the time I was finishing college. By then, I didn't really have any friends, and I definitely didn't need text anyone on a regular basis to find the nearest party, or to say hello, or whatever, so I never really got that into it. Fast-forward to a few years later.

I was playing basketball the other day when one of the guys asked if I wanted to play on his intramural basketball team. I've played with this guy a lot, and we've gotten to know each other a little bit. I should mention that he's a few years younger than me (*ahem* almost 10). I did want to play, although I don't know if it will work out because the games are probably all past my bedtime, so he handed me his iPhone so I could enter my number into his contact list. Then he said he would text me when he found out the schedule for this season.

Uh oh. I don't have text. What do I say?

Me: Um... I'm really old. I don't have text on my phone.

Him: Blank stare. Look on his face is a combination of confusion and anxiety. Umm...Ok...Umm...

Me: I guess a phone call would be out of the question? Perhaps you forgot, I just handed you my number approximately 1 second ago. Here, let me give you my email address. Just send it there.

Him: Looking relieved. Oh, ok. That will work.

Crisis averted. Next stop: male pattern baldness.

I'm not what you might call a noticer

2011-01-09T10:39:00.001-06:00

Our kitchen faucet had been dripping for a while. I don't really know how long. I don't tend to notice things like that right away. When I did notice, I told Sarah, and she said it had been doing it "forever." Like I said, I'm not what you might call a noticer.

Anyway, I didn't really care all that much. Until I figured out (at 6:30 this morning) that it was the hot water that was dripping. My money! Literally going down the drain with each drip! But I wanted to keep that money!!!!

The faucet itself was really old, so instead of trying to fix it, I figured I'd just buy a new one. It's really a simple job (so long as you don't mind the second mortgage--"Oh, you want a faucet? That'll be $150,000). Famous last words. Step one, use the hot and cold water shut off valves to turn off the water to the faucet. Cold water off? Check. Hot water off? No. Turn the valve the other way. Hot water off? Still no. Turn the valve back the first way, harder this time. Hot water off? No!! Turn it until the skin comes off your hand. Hot water off? Not quite. Nooooooooooooooo!!!!! So much for a simple job.

Find a bucket? Check. Get sprinkled by slowly leaking hot water shut-off valve? Check. Get the cat out of the bucket? Check. Get the cat out of my face? Check. Get the other cat out of the bucket? Check. Let the dog out? Check. Let the dog back in? Check. Drop the pets off at the animal shelter? Tomorrow. Two hours later, I'd taken off the old faucet, gone to Lowe's, gotten a new faucet, and installed it.

Take care of the leaky faucet? Check. Take care of the leaky shut-off valve? I don't think so. Now that we have a new faucet, hopefully I won't have to shut the hot water off again before we move. Leave a funny surprise for the future owner of the house? Check.

we're back

2011-01-06T08:07:00.000-06:00

Our trip home was pretty uneventful. It was long and uncomfortable, but it was uneventful. Surprisingly, we haven't yet had any jet lag to deal with. I think we never really got over it the first time around, so really, we're just back to our normal schedule.

The cats were really glad to see us. I don't think they like using well-used litter boxes. Barney has been asleep since I brought him home four days ago. He wakes up every once in a while to eat or to go into the backyard to sleep in the sun, but that's it. Our friends who watched him have two big dogs, and I think Barney must have tried to keep up for a little too long. Either that, or they drugged him.

This week Sarah has had to work, but I've just been hanging out at home because I don't go back to school until next week. I've done some bread baking, yard work, cleaning, and organizing. Nothing too major, but I'm trying to keep myself occupied. I've said this before, but I think I need a hobby.

the big time

2010-12-28T11:44:00.001-06:00

Our trip around France was cut short due to snow, but we had a really good time while we were away. We stayed in two great hotels: one in Strasbourg and once in Metz. Sarah and my room in Metz was this really cool attic room with exposed beams and an amazing view of a neighboring cathedral. It also had a (very) leaky jaccuzi tub. I think we may have been one bath away from one of those scenes from TV where we went crashing down in the room below us.

We went to the local Christmas markets and ate lots of great food at some local restaurants. One specialty we tried is called tartiflette. It's scalloped potatoes with a special cheese (reblochon) and onions and smoked ham. It's my new favorite. One day, Sarah and I even got interviewed by one of the French national news stations! (Maybe the equivalent of being on NBC nightly news--maybe less fancy than that though). We don't know if they ever actually aired our clip, but it was still exciting. We were just walking around a market minding our own business when I guy stopped me and asked (in French) if I would be willing to answer a few questions. I, of course, said that I would but that I was just a stupid American who didn't speak any French so my wife would have to do all the talking. He and the camera lady thought that was funny, and so they asked us a few questions and then had us say we were from Texas (the last part in English). We were all hopped up on our excitement all day after that.

Pictures forthcoming on Sarah's blog or mine, depending on who is less lazy in the next few days...

ATTENTION

2010-12-21T21:14:00.003-06:00

Jet lag got to me tonight. I woke up around 1 AM when Sarah got up to blow her nose or her butt or something, and suddenly I was wide awake. I tossed and turned for an hour and a half, but I knew from the beginning I wasn't going to get back to sleep. Now it's 4 AM, and the cat and I are the only people awake. I wish I had a bullhorn.

ATTENTION. I AM BORED. THAT IS ALL.

In a few hours, we're going to leave for a brief road trip. Our initial plan was to spend a few days driving around Italy. We were going to see Rome, Venice, and Pompeii. A while back, we amended that plan and decided to see the south of France instead. Then we were hit by the great European 'blizzard' of 2010.

ATTENTION. THERE ARE EIGHT INCHES OF SNOW IN SOME PLACES--BUT NOT HERE--EVERYONE PANIC. I REPEAT, EVERYONE PANIC. FRANCE IS NOW CLOSED. KTHNKSBYE.

Now we're going to stay in the Alsace-Lorraine region. We'll hit Strasbourg first. It's pretty close by, and it's a pretty interesting city. It's the seat of the European Parliament; the former home of the German poet and philosopher Goethe; and the place where Gutenberg perfected and unveiled the printing press. The two days after that we'll be in Metz and Nancy, two cities that are known for things.

ATTENTION. SOMEONE WAKE UP AND MAKE ME BREAKFAST. ATTENTION.

liar liar

2010-12-20T12:44:00.001-06:00

Have you ever heard the expression, "Liar, liar, pants on fire"? Of course you have. Have you also heard the next line, "Hanging on a telephone wire" (or some other similar variation)? Maybe. But have you ever read the poem the saying was derived from? It was written in 1810 by William Blake, an English poet. It's hilarious.

Deceiver, dissembler

Your trousers are alight

From what pole or gallows

Shall they dangle in the night?

When I asked of your career

Why did you have to kick my rear

With that stinking lie of thine

Proclaiming that you owned a mine?

When you asked to borrow my stallion

To visit a nearby moored galleon

How could I ever know that you

Intended to turn him into glue?

What red devil of mendacity

Grips your soul with such tenacity?

Will one you cruelly shower with lies

Put a pistol ball between your eyes?

What internal serpent

Has lent you his forked tongue?

From what pit of foul deceit

Are all these whoppers sprung?

Deceiver, dissembler

Your trousers are alight

From what pole or gallows

Do they dangle in the night?

we arrived

2010-12-19T01:35:00.001-06:00

We arrived in France after a major delay in the Madrid airport. We had a five hour layover to begin with, but it actually turned into 10. It was pretty excruciating because they kept telling us that it was just going to be a few more minutes. Just a few more minutes. Just a few more minutes. It's like someone holding candy just out of your reach for five hours.

We were pretty ticked, but then we learned about Matt and Rebekah. Two of their flights got canceled, and they're still stuck at home. So sorry guys. We're praying for your quick (and safe arrival). Hopefully you'll take off soon!

More to come.

Mmm. Mmmhmmm. Mmhm. Hmmm? Mmhmm.

2010-12-14T13:34:00.001-06:00

Today the professor I TA'd for this semester took me out to lunch as a thank you for the work I did this semester. We went to the local campus hangout where all the cool kids eat. I had a greasy (and huge) burger with blue cheese, bacon, and chipotle mayonnaise. It was fantastic. And, I'll never need to eat again!

Later, I finished up the last of my grading for the semester, and I'm pretty much finished with all my work until after the new year. I have a meeting on Wendesday and an exam to proctor on Thursday, but nothing school-related other than that. I guess I'll have to wait until I do those last two things before I'll be officially done. But I'm really not going to work any more. I'll just sit here at my desk and pretend to type. Maybe I'll make some intelligent sounding grunts every once in a while to make sure people don't know I'm phoning it in.

the last one

2010-12-09T15:00:00.001-06:00

Yesterday marked the last class period of my last required course in the history of my education (barring any unforeseen problems). That's not to say I don't still have courses to take. I'm supposed to take a few electives every semester, and I don't get to choose those electives because our department is too small to offer a wide selection of courses, but I don't technically have any more required courses or sequences. Technically. After three years of undergrad and four years of graduate school, I'm technically happy about it.

granted v.2

2010-12-08T08:59:00.002-06:00

Good news. I was notified yesterday that I ended up getting the other grant I applied for a while back. This one was for $500, but I'm going to split it with another researcher because I applied for it on behalf of both of us. I'm not going to use the money for anything fancy. It's just going into the bank to help cover some of the costs of the conference I went to this summer and the one that I'll be going to in January in San Antonio.

I think I must have been emboldened by the success. Not long after I got the notification, I applied to attend a special summer program that's sponsored by the National Science Foundation. It would really look great on my resume/CV. Even better, this year it's being held in Matt and Rebekah's stomping grounds. I don't know what my chances are to get in (and if history serves as a guide, I won't), but if things work out, Sarah and I will be coming to visit for two weeks in late July/early August. Hopefully you'll be home. If not, I have to stay in a dorm, and Sarah has to stay home. Or, alternatively, we have to break into your house.

have you tried... actually studying?

2010-12-03T11:31:00.001-06:00

I got an email from a student yesterday. She said she wasn't doing well in one of her psychology classes and was "desperate" to do well on her upcoming final. She was hoping to set up a "tutoring" appointment with me for the night before the exam. She said she would be wiling to pay me $20 "or more" per hour for a maximum of 2 hours. Aside from the fact that it would be a sticky ethical situation for me to take money from a student, the crux of this story is that the final isn't for two more weeks. Here's what I wanted to say:

Dear Student,

Here's a study tip. You know that time between the exam and right now? How about you use that to... LEARN THE MATERIAL YOURSELF. k thnks bye.

Sincerely,

The Study Police

I think my bowling ball just meowed

2010-11-30T08:21:00.000-06:00

Since I last posted, we drove to Michigan and back. We were in the car for 41 hours. We listened to a lot of NPR podcasts. This American Life is my new favorite program. Check it out. Thanksgiving break was fun, but the time went way too fast. I tried to avoid everything in my normal routine: No working out, no getting up at 5:30 and going to bed at 8:30, no incessantly checking my email, and no reading or working of any kind. I'm not sure what I did exactly. I think there was a lot of sitting on the couch and staring at the wall. I need a hobby.

These next few weeks should be, fortunately, a slowish wind-down to the end of the semester. I have a paper revision to do, some data to collect, and a take-home final exam to write. I hope that I'm not underestimating things, but I think it shouldn't be too bad. I'm even taking a break right now to do this. If things go really well, I might even have time to build a cat tree so our now-enormous cats can get some exercise. They always gorge themselves with food while we're gone, but this time they became particularly HUGE. Picking them up is like picking up squirmy, fur-covered bowling balls. And not in a good way.

I think I'm a bad citizen

2010-11-20T06:53:00.001-06:00

Earlier, I described the big project that I have to do that always gets assigned over Thanksgiving break. Last year, I had to spend about 90% of my break working on it. I lost out on some important family time, and it was just generally unpleasant. Armed with an extra year of experience and the important lessons I learned last year, I tried to make sure that my project would be more manageable this year. It's amazing what an extra year of experience is worth: All the right things fell just into place, and I won't really have any work to do over the break this year. There's really only one potential problem: I'm skipping school on Monday and Tuesday in order to make it to Michigan for more than 1 day.

Normally, this wouldn't be an issue. I don't typically have classes or obligations on Tuesdays, and my only class on Monday is with a class-is-optional type professor. However, this Monday and Tuesday, we have a job candidate visiting the department. I'm supposed to go to hear the person give a talk on Monday, and then there's a meet and greet with all the grad students on Tuesday. It will be a decent sized crowd, so it's reasonable to assume that my absence won't be too dearly missed. However, there's also a chance I'm going to need to meet with the professor who assigns the Thanksgiving assignment. Last year I opted out of meeting in order to spend some extra time with family, and I ended up in the dog house for quite some time.

I thought I'd cut off this issue at the pass by setting up the meeting earlier this week. The meeting was short and sweet, and I thought we discussed everything we needed to. But then I got a cryptic mass email (to everyone in the class) that indicated I might have to go to another meeting. The problem? By the time I find out whether this is the case, I'll already been in Michigan. I couldn't just talk to the professor about wanting to meet early, because that would have drawn attention to the fact that I'm going to miss the job candidate (which in practice is meaningless--my input will have exactly 0 bearing on the hiring process--but in theory it makes me look like I have bad department 'citizenship'). Hopefully this won't turn into a 'thing,' because there's really not much I can do at this point...

the importance of brand

2010-11-15T16:08:00.001-06:00

Today one of my professors forwarded me an email from a student who wanted to meet with someone knowledgeable about persuasion. The student has a job interview and needs to be able to convince her potential employers that she will be able to persuasively secure funding, even during this down economy. In other words, the student was hoping for advice on how to persuade her interviewers that she is persuasive. Irony aside, I've recently been working on "selling my brand" (as the persuasion guy), and I'm happy to see that it might be working.

Branding yourself is necessary in lots of areas, including academia. The idea is that, when you see the Nike's swoosh symbol, you automatically know what they're all about. When people see my name in an academic setting, I want them to automatically know what I'm all about. Incidentally, it also strikes me that we Christians should be focusing on achieving a similar outcome for all areas of our lives. When people hear our names, they should know what Christ is all about.

of all the things to endure...

2010-11-14T07:25:00.002-06:00

So most people have probably heard about the cruise ship that lost power off the coast of Mexico. A fire in the ship's engine room knocked out electricity, and the passengers and crew had to wait a few days before they could be towed back to California. Not surprisingly, the media has had a field day with the whole thing. My favorite headline so far has been this one.

"Cruise Passengers Endured Stench, Cold Food"

I suppose a stench is something to endure. But cold food? You endure a frigid temperatures. Blazing heat. Malaria. You don't endure cold food. Gazpacho is cold soup. (Some) People love it. Approximately 70,000,000 Americans 'endure' cold cereal every morning. Many people endure having cold pizza as a favorite food. Also, ice cream is cold. "Hey anyone want to go out and endure some ice cream?" Nooooooooooooo... Anything but ice cream!!!!!

Cold food, my friends, is not something to endure. Cold food is something to embrace. On the other hand, I guess it's true that it might not be pleasant to eat cold food while drifting off the coast of a country in the middle of a gang war (in a 4000-person floating apartment building with toilets that don't work). But whatever.

the big one

2010-11-10T09:30:00.001-06:00

I'm spending a lot of time this week working ahead to get prepared for Thanksgiving week. I've got a huge project due the day I get back that is worth approximately 100% of my grade in an important class. The project is relatively simple: I have to design a study, collect the data, analyze the data, write an extensive review of the everything that has ever been written about the topic of the study, write up the results of the study, and then write about the implications of my results for the future of all research about the topic. I'm making some progress, but I still have quite a ways to go...

it's doing the opposite of working

2010-11-06T20:42:00.002-05:00

In 1960, the birth control pill was approved for use in the United States. It was, and continues to be, heralded as the beginning of a "sexual revolution" in which women were freed from the consequences of an unwanted pregnancy. Up until about five minutes ago, I didn't know the rate of pregnancies in unwed mothers in the 1960s. Do you know what it was? Incorrect. It was 4%.

Do you know what the rate of pregnancies in unwed mothers is today? Wildly incorrect. It is 41%. I'm not saying the issue is simple. It is undoubtedly a complex one. What I am saying is that the birth control pill doesn't seem to be working. In fact, it seems to be doing the opposite of working. A 100 fold increase instead of a decrease? Nice try Science. I'm on to you.

we're all winners

2010-11-03T10:45:00.001-05:00

There are a few great equalizers in society. Take pizza, for example. For just a few dollars, anyone in America can buy a piece of pizza that tastes incredible. And no matter how much more you spend, pizza just really can't get any better. So no matter who you are, from Bill Gates to Joe Six-Pack, you get to enjoy the same pleasure. No amount of money or power can change that.

Which brings me to the World Series. A commentator was interviewing Aubrey Huff, who played 11 seasons (over 1500 games) without ever having any success in the playoffs.

Commentator: So, after that long road, how does it feel to finally win the World Series?
Huff: It's the greatest feeling in the world... Except, of course, for when I had my two kids.

Nevermind the slight to his wife (wedding day? anyone? anyone? she's probably not that mad; he is a millionaire, after all). The point is that winning the World Series ranked second to having kids. Millions of people do that every year by mistake. Not many people will ever win the World Series.

And to answer your question, no. This is not my way of announcing that Sarah and I are about to "win the World Series." In fact, if your desire for grandkids/nieces/nephews is really getting you down, I suggest you go have a slice of pizza to tide you over.

they were legion

2010-11-01T09:42:00.001-05:00

We got a surprising number of trick-or-treaters last night. Last year we had about 20 or so, and so we were expecting to have a lot of candy leftovers to munch on for the next few weeks. It turns out that we didn't even buy enough! Depending on who you ask (me vs. Sarah), you'll get a different estimate of the head count. Someone says 75. Someone who can't count very well. We had at least 100. You would think that an elementary school teacher would be better at keeping track of children. But no. You would be wrong.

Barney's first Halloween experience was a toddler/teletubby waddling up to our glass front door and peering/leering inside instead of knocking. Or, as Barney saw it, a little monster trying to murder us and steal our things. He had to be briefly restrained, and then he really seemed to enjoy watching the kids.

good news

2010-10-29T12:19:00.001-05:00

I was notified today that I received the full amount ($400) of one of the grants I applied for earlier in the week. Talk about a quick turnaround. Now I can actually stay in a hotel during the conference.

granted

2010-10-26T10:43:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, I spent a few hours working on grant proposals. Nothing too fancy, just some internal funding from the university that helps to pay for graduate student travel to psychology conferences. Best case scenario, I'll get $900 and a few new lines for my CV (resume). Worst case scenario, I wasted a few hours. I also started doing some work on a new study I'm getting ready to launch. I'm going to look at one small way that language might influence altruism. If it works, it will show the importance of using humanizing language to describe people (and dogs) who are in need of aid. More on that as things progress...

fool me once...

2010-10-25T10:26:00.001-05:00

This morning as I was leaving the house, Mowgli rolled over on her back in front of me and squeaked out a meow, pleading to be petted. When I bent down to rub her stomach, she snapped her jaws shut and chomped on my hand. I didn't think much of it because it wasn't really out of character. But then I drove to my friend's house to pick him up for school. I went inside for a minute while I waited for him to finish putting his dogs away, and his cat, who has only recently started letting me get close enough to touch her, looked up at me and meowed to be petted. When I bent down close enough for her to reach me, she, too, gnawed on my hand. I know what you might be thinking, and, no, I didn't have tuna for breakfast. (Don't be gross).

recent updates

2010-10-24T19:55:00.001-05:00

I've obviously flagged in my blogging activity. I've been busy with school, of course, but I've also been a little bored (with blogging). My day-to-day activity is pretty mundane because I've settled into a routine that works pretty well, and so I don't feel like I have too much to say on a day-to-day basis.

Here's what you've been missing: Every weekday I do exactly the same things: wake up at 5:20, work out for 30 minutes, make my lunch, eat a bowl of cereal in front of the news, get ready for school, drive to my friend's house to begin the carpool, drive to school, do work from 7:45 until 4 (sometimes 6), drive back to my friend's house to end the carpool, drive home, make dinner, eat, watch a tv show, and then go to bed. Saturday and Sunday are similar except I don't have the 2.5 hours in the car to deal with. On the weekends, I typically get work done in the mornings before taking the afternoons off. On Saturdays, I usually end up taking Barney to the dog park for an hour or two. On Sundays, we go to church, make our way to Costco to do the grocery shopping for the week, and then relax for most of the rest of the day.

Sarah has been encouraging me to write more often. She keeps saying something about not wanting to be the only one in this relationship who has a "weird" hobby.

the proposed proposal is proposed

2010-10-16T08:26:00.001-05:00

My proposal went smoothly on Wednesday. All the suggestions from the faculty were helpful, and I think the experiment is even going to be a little simpler to run once I incorporate the changes. Those are good things.

To reward myself for the success, I'm going to spend the weekend doing a take-home exam, creating a lecture on persuasion, and grading statistics assignments. I am so good to myself. Maybe too good. The hedonism has got to stop.

the beginning of the end of the beginning

2010-10-12T09:24:00.003-05:00

Yesterday I had the day 'off' from school, so I stayed home and 'relaxed.' Of course, by 'off,' I meant that I still had to do work at home. And by 'relaxed,' I meant that I did work at home, took the dog for two walks, and then cleaned out the garage and mowed the lawn.

Part of the reason I had to work on my day off is that time has been scarce lately because I'm doing an oral proposal of my thesis tomorrow. So in addition to the stuff that normally keeps me busy, I've had lots of prep work to complete. This thesis proposal is the beginning of the end of the series of steps required for my MS in experimental psychology (The second of two essentially useless master's degrees. Score!). But it is only the end of the beginning of the series of steps required for the PhD. I've outlined them below, because I know a few people have been curious and there are a lot of confusing steps. Some of the more important steps are in bold.

Fall 2010

Propose thesis (i.e., ask the faculty if it's ok to do an experiment I've been designing; they vote to pass or fail me)
Collect data for my experiment
Take classes
Do other research projects

Spring 2011

Take classes
Finish collecting data for the experiment
Do other research projects
Write up the thesis document (the results of my experiment)
Orally defend my thesis (have my writing and ideas publicly critiqued by the faculty; they vote to pass or fail me)
Get a master's degree in experimental psychology (if all goes well; if not, this will be postponed by a semester)

Summer 2011

Take classes
Do other research projects
Choose a dissertation topic (another experiment; this one has to be grander and more important)
Do lots of reading about my topic

Fall 2011

Take classes
Do other research projects
More reading about my topic
Begin designing the experiment for the dissertation
Begin writing the dissertation proposal (where I explain the experiment in writing)

Spring 2012

Take more classes
Do other research projects
Keep working on the written proposal
Take my qualifying exam (another oral presentation; in this one, I have to talk about my past, present, and future research and argue in front of all the students and faculty that I deserve to be allowed to do a dissertation; the faculty vote to pass or fail me)

Summer 2012

Other research projects
Finish written dissertation proposal
Apply for jobs

Fall 2012

Orally propose my dissertation idea to a committee (they publicly critique it and vote to pass or fail me)
Collect data for the dissertation
Apply for jobs

Spring 2013

Write the written dissertation
Orally defend the dissertation (again, public arguing for my ideas; the faculty vote to pass or fail me)
Graduate with a PhD in experimental psychology
Apply for jobs

When I lay it all out like that, it doesn't really seem very appealing. Oh well: I'm pretty much trapped at this point.

oops...I didn't realize I was going to Hell

2010-10-07T11:35:00.001-05:00

Albert Mohler, president of Southern Baptist Seminary, recently wrote an essay about the evils of yoga. John MacArthur, a famous conservative Christian apologist, and himself a president of a seminary, agrees. He calls yoga a "false religion." Although Mohler's main problems with the practice are its roots in eastern religions and its encouragement of meditation, he also believes that the exercise itself is a sin. After all, he says, "you're just not doing yoga."

Question: is it a sin to be an ignorant turd? After all, you're not just being an ignorant turd.

tragic irony

2010-09-27T15:22:00.000-05:00

I read the following headline today: "Segway Owner Drives Off A Cliff, Dies" Tragic? Yes. Newsworthy? I wasn't so sure. Then I read the article and understood what I'd missed: The owner of the Segway wasn't just the owner of a Segway, he was the owner of all of them. That's right, he was the owner of Segway the company, not just the owner of Segway the scooter. Talk about a bad PR move: driving your flagship product off a cliff is not the way to generate sales.

at least there's sleep

2010-09-24T20:44:00.000-05:00

The second I tried to start working today, my computer refused to connect to the internet. After an hour working on it, I went to the university help desk to get, you know, 'help.' They tried all the things I did (something tells me they didn't believe me when I said, "I already tried that."), and couldn't find the problem. Their advice: Macs don't work very well. Buy a PC or install Windows 7. Given that this is contrary to every experience I've ever had with my Mac, I didn't. I ended up fixing it myself after another half hour. (Thanks for the 'help.') Then I had trouble turning in (electronically) a paper I'd written because of file formatting issues that I don't need to born you with. After I got stuck in traffic on the way home, things really started to go downhill (email related). Long story short, I'm glad the day is over.

mine is the louder one

2010-09-18T06:32:00.001-05:00

The other day I was driving to school, minding my own business, when a utility truck pulled out in front of me, slammed on its brakes, and parked in the middle of the road. Two construction workers got out and started slowly pulling tools out of the back while chatting with each other. I was a little annoyed, but I was minding my own business and concentrating on finding an opening in the traffic in the other lane so I could get on with my commute. After about a minute of this, the the guy behind me honked.

One of the construction workers looked up, stared into my car, moved closer, and started cussing me out (loudly enough that I could hear through the closed windows of the car and above the traffic noise of the busy street). Just then I spotted an opening in the traffic, and I pulled around the truck to go on my way. Not, of course, before I gave him a good long honk. You know, so that he could hear the difference between my horn and the horn from the guy behind me.

Let's just be glad he didn't have time to go for the gun he was inevitably carrying.

Dwight Schrute, as interpreted by Chris Farley

2010-09-10T20:23:00.001-05:00

The first two minutes of this video are some of the most unintentionally funny I have ever seen.

Ummmm... no.

2010-09-08T16:11:00.002-05:00

Today a student walked by my office looking lost. I heard him stop by another office suite and ask the occupants if this was where the study was being held. They said no and directed him to a different room, also telling him that he was too late to take the study anyway. His response: Oh. Wait, is this part of the study?

mundanity

2010-09-04T06:35:00.000-05:00

I see it's been a week since I last posted. There haven't been a great many developments in that time. I went to school five times. I came home from school five times. I've almost finished draft #3 of my thesis proposal. I think I'll only have to do one more after this before I can actually hold a proposal meeting and then start collecting data. One of the four incoming, first-year students in my area has quit already. He mumbled something about boring classes and meetings being too much for him. Tonight Sarah and I are going to watch a football game and have smoked pork ribs with some friends. That should be fun. Not for the pig though.

attack of the clones!

2010-08-28T13:26:00.001-05:00

We regularly get an email from some pet care company that uses the above shelter photo of Barney and his siblings to try and convince us to buy stuff for him. Barney was the last one to get adopted, and I never saw the others in person, so the email just makes me want to do is track everybody down (and there's another one missing from the photo), put them all in a room, and see what happens. It might be hard to make sure we took home the right dog though.

the longest day

2010-08-28T06:28:00.000-05:00

This week didn't really hold much to talk about. I went to school every day, worked on my thesis proposal (just a document that says, all too formally, here's an experiment I want to do) for most of the day, went to class sporadically, and then went home. Every day just felt like an extension of the next, and Sarah and I both agreed that it felt like a really longest week in history. Hopefully the weekend will feel similarly long. I expect that we won't be so fortunate.

pass the jelly beer

2010-08-23T20:21:00.002-05:00

My first day of school was today. Well, my 23rd first day of school was today. But it was my first day of this year. You know what I learned on this inauspicious occasion? Wrong. I learned that jelly can ferment in the fridge if you leave it undisturbed for four months in a half-empty container. Good thing it was so rotten that I noticed before I got a chance to put it on my sandwich. I would have had to eat it anyway. Waste not, want not, after all.

P.S. 8:30 PM, and it's still 103 degrees.

down the rabbit hole

2010-08-18T09:14:00.008-05:00

Right before bed last night Barney was playing around outside when, all of a sudden, he got really excited. I mean REALLY excited: he sprinted in a few circles at lightening speed around the back yard, rushed inside and sprinted around the house, led me outside with him, refused to come inside, and ran in and out of "the woods" (6-foot-deep bushy area near the back fence) until I caught him and carried him in. I figured he'd seen an opossum or one of the local cats who is always walking across our back fence. He was so amped up that he rustled around in his crate for most of the night.

I was working on my thesis proposal this morning when a blur of black and white motion outside caught my eye. How did that tiny little dog get over our 7-foot fence!!! It was actually was one of our 78-year-old neighbor's two pet rabbits. I quickly understood why, ever since we've been back from Michigan, Barney has been pointing (standing perfectly still with one leg in the air and looking in one direction) at 'invisible' stuff in the yard and playing in the woods a lot. I went outside to try and catch the rabbit and return it its home, but I left Barney inside so there wouldn't be any rabbit corpses to inconspicuously dispose of. (Sarah: This stew is a little gamey. Where did you get this chicken? Me: Ummmm... Here's the thing...)

The rabbit wasn't exactly unfriendly, but it didn't particularly want to be touched either. It ended up scurrying back home through (one of) the hole(s) it had dug under the fence. Unfortunately, Barney saw the whole thing from the window where he had been freaking out about not being able to be outside to 'play' with the rabbit. He might have been nice to it. I don't know. Anyhow, now I have to figure out how to keep Barney from tunneling his way into the neighbor's yard to reunite with his new 'friends' (two chickens also live over there).

Pointing out the hole: he stayed like this for 5 minutes while I ran and got the camera and took some pictures. Maybe the rabbit will take the hint and come through.

For the last 20 minutes he's been intermittently pointing at the fence and trying to trick me into going outside by 'asking' to come in (by jumping into the screen door and making it knock against the other door, a trick we taught him) and then refusing to actually enter. When I move toward him to catch him, he runs--just out of my reach--a little closer to the hole. I went all the way out once and walked over to the hole to make sure the brick I'd put there was still in place. He pranced over with me, no doubt feeling proud that he'd finally communicated his urgent message about the meal I was passing up. He looked hurt and confused when I went back inside. He probably thinks I'm an idiot.

someone make a movie about this

2010-08-16T11:03:00.000-05:00

I just had an interesting thought while I was 'listening' to a conversation some people were having. Okay, you caught me: they were having the 'conversation' on Facebook, and I wasn't listening so much as I was reading their comments about a status update, but whatever. The point is this: I realized can't recall having heard anyone say they watched a movie and were disappointed by the book, but I frequently hear people say they read a book and then were disappointed by the movie. I have a number of theories.

Books are better than movies for various reasons (imagination used, time to develop plot and characters, better writing, etc.)
Alternatively: order effects are in play. People usually read books first, then watch the movies. But what if order matters? What would happen if you watched a movie and then read the book? Then you'd always be stuck with what's-his-face as the main character, and you don't even like what's-his-face.
Alternatively: people like to throw it in your face that they read the book, you didn't, and they are smarter and all-around better than you.

I'm sure there are lots of anecdotes out there. Someone's going to have to do a systematic study to get this figured out. Not it.

I'll do it

2010-08-15T09:39:00.002-05:00

For some reason the weather is a competition. It doesn't matter if it's hot temperatures, long winters, or precipitation, everyone has to be the most uncomfortable. The conversation usually goes something like this (referring to heat, in this instance).

Upper Midwest: I'm so hot, it's 90 degrees.

Deep South: You think that's hot? It's going to be 100 here today!!

Southwest Desert: I wish it was 100!! Today it's going to be 110!!!

Deep South and Upper Midwest (in unison): Yeah, but that's a dry heat so it doesn't count!

The debate was settled this week when the Finland's World Sauna Championships ended tragically. Here's what happened. The competition is simple: a bunch of idiots sit in a sauna; whoever stays the longest wins. Oh, by the way: the ambient temperature in the sauna? It's kept at more than 240 degrees Fahrenheit (110 C). If you remember your elementary school science, you'll recall that (a) our bodies are 55 - 78% water, and (b) the boiling point for water is 212 F (100 C). In other words, the contestants sit in a room that could BOIL THEM ALIVE!!!

Apparently, the heat itself isn't all that bad. At least, it isn't all that bad until they pour buckets of water over superheated rocks, which sends the room's humidity skyrocketing. It's not unusual for contestants' skin to boil and for them to have huge patches of it eventually fall right off. Most only stay in the sauna for a few minutes. The 'best' participants train year round to acclimate themselves, and some are able to withstand the temperatures for quite some time. This year, a participant died when something went wrong. Some suspect foul play (such as too much humidity), and there is an ongoing criminal investigation. But the larger point (aside from the incredibly stupidity involved here), is that's it wasn't the temperature that killed him, it was the humidity.

That being said, the high here today is 106 and the heat index is 116. It's 9:30 AM right now, and the heat index is 95. I'm going to go outside and punch the sun in the face.

gross

2010-08-13T07:09:00.001-05:00

We made it home from Michigan in one piece. The high today is 105. That's not the heat index, that's the high. Apparently, we missed 14 straight days in which the temperature was over 100 degrees. This is ridiculous. I'm submitting a formal complaint.

fore!

2010-08-09T13:32:00.000-05:00

Dad and I have played three rounds of golf since I've been back home. I haven't played much this year (one time), so my form has been off and on. In the first two rounds I hit some good shots and some bad shots, and I hit a few great shots and a few really terrible ones. Today we played for the last time before Sarah and I head back to Michigan. I played surprisingly well, ending up with a 77. I'm usually shocked when I manage to play like I used to (when I was actually a decent player). But back then I thought I deserved to shoot well because I practiced so much, so I was always mad when I didn't live up to those expectations. Now I'm just happy to be able to get out and play. Probably a better attitude.

America the beautiful

2010-08-05T07:53:00.000-05:00

I read a story in the news today about a Michigan man who passed out on his bed after drinking too much. He woke up a few hours later because his foot felt wet, and he looked down to see that his Jack Russell Terrier Kiko, who normally sleeps with him, had gnawed off half of his big toe.

The man, whose wife is a nurse, went to the hospital, where they diagnosed him with type II diabetes and a very diseased foot. Apparently, the dog had eaten only the part of the toe that was rotting, and he left alone all the parts that were still alive. The man was just happy that his dog had "saved his life," and he wondered how the dog had been smart enough to know to stop eating the toe at just the right spot. He also "joked" that he shouldn't have had to pay his hospital copay because the dog "did most of the work."

I would normally make some snarky comment here, but I think it's unnecessary at this point.

I'm on vacation

2010-08-04T13:22:00.000-05:00

From everything. Except pulling my groin while playing golf. How does that happen? I don't really know. But it did. And it isn't pleasant. You know what else happened? Do you? Me either. You know what I need? Cake. Also, more cake. The end.

not playing nice

2010-07-26T20:47:00.001-05:00

I keep up with the news in the towns we've moved away from. I guess I'm a busybody. Anyway, yesterday I read a story about how someone was robbed at gunpoint in the evening at a park that Sarah and I regularly took walks through in the evening. Comforting, I know. The victim, fortunately, was able to trick the bad guys into thinking he was an undercover cop, and they ran away. Ypsilanti is not known for a well-educated populace. Today I read a more tragic story about a 20-year-old kid that was shot at the local K-Mart just a few miles down the street.

I'm glad we live in a quiet neighborhood now.

the week in review

2010-07-22T11:42:00.002-05:00

I'm always amazed when my air travel doesn't end in a fiery crash. So much so, in fact, that I regularly have bad dreams in which I'm on a plane that ends up crash landing somewhere. Sometimes I make it; sometimes I go straight to Hell. (That was an actual dream: my plane crashes; everything gets really dark; I'm under the assumption that I'm in Hell; I wake up moaning). Dreams are great.

Speaking of great things: we had a great time at Sarah's reunion. The hotel was really nice; the city was fun; and all of Sarah's classmates and their spouses were great company. It's too bad we don't live close to any of them. Actually, it's too bad we don't live close to anyone we are close with. I guess that's what we get for moving to a place where there are millions of people but no friends or relatives. Oops.

overexertion

2010-07-15T16:08:00.002-05:00

When I was in 8th grade, we occasionally had basketball practice on Saturdays to compliment our normal weekday workouts. Just as now, I loved basketball back then, but there were two main problems with Saturday practice: 1) I was fat and hated to run the typical end-of-practice wind-sprints, and 2) I was lazy and hated to get up early, especially on my only real day of the week to sleep in. Saturday practices were the worst.

My usual routine was to roll out of bed as late as possible. I didn't eat. I didn't shower. I didn't comb my hair. Sometimes I'm not sure if I even put on pants. Now that I think about it, things haven't changed much. Except that now I always eat breakfast.

We went through our typical practice, and I went through my typical routine of trying to get my abnormally large body ("Look at that giant tween!!") to do something that might impress my coach (it didn't). I remember getting yelled at a lot, probably because I 'wasn't trying.' It's hard to move as fast as the other kids when you're fatter than they are. I mean, I could do it for a while, but I could only sustain that kind of pace for so long before I needed some sort of ice cream sandwich or frozen lemonade. Anyway, we got to the sprints at the end, and I ran as fast as could muster. As usual. I took last. As usual. We circled around the coach as he gave us some directions about something I didn't hear: because suddenly, my head was swimming. Fortunately, I was in the back of the circle, so when I turned around and barfed stomach bile all over the place, it didn't cause as huge a stir as it would have if I'd 'accidentally' ralphed all over my coach and teammates.

I was pretty happy when Coach wordlessly went to get sawdust and a mop to clean up the mess. I thought for sure he was going to yell at me some more. He instead waited until the next practice, by which time he'd thought of some snappy repartee with which he could publicly ridicule me in front of the rest of the team. After all, it was my fault because I was 'obviously didn't try hard enough at practice' and was in such 'terrible shape' as a result. Gee, sorry coach Gleason. I thought I threw up because (a) I'm in 8th grade and don't fully understand nutrition, and (b) I was trying SO HARD THAT I MADE MYSELF THROW UP. Oh by the way, how did you get your (literally) 450-pound body into those tiny pants?

Kids I didn't even know teased me at school for weeks. Long story short: now I eat breakfast every day.

Which brings me to the point: today the heat index is 105 degrees. I took Barney, as I usually do, for a run during the hottest part of the day. Before the run, I took him outside to run around and play fetch. He was pretty hot and tired when we got home, and for a while, he just stood over his water dish huffing and puffing like the little engine that couldn't cool down. After a few minutes, he went to stand on the couch for a while. I looked over a little later to see him barfing bile all over it. Perfect. Nice job coach.

While Sarah and I were cleaning it up, I was keeping an eye on him to make sure he was okay, and he got a funny look on his face. He looked pained and uncomfortable. And I'm not talking physically. I mean emotionally. It was like he was about to commit a morally despicable act but couldn't stop himself. I asked him if he wanted to go outside, and he practically ran me over on his way to the door. Once out there, he looked around for a good spot for about 3 seconds and then barfed again. This time the sponge pieces actually came out, so I think he should be fine.

Moral: eat breakfast, not sponges.

talking Carl

2010-07-13T16:05:00.003-05:00

The "talking Carl" IPhone app repeats everything you say in a higher pitch. This video pits two Carls against each other.

what the frick

2010-07-11T02:31:00.004-05:00

For the last few years, Sarah and I have adhered to a pretty stable sleeping schedule. We get up at the same time every day, and we go to bed at the same time every day. Precisely the same time. At first it was annoying. Now we really would never go back to the old way of doing things. Not long after we adopted the "schedule method", as I'm now calling it, we started having less trouble falling asleep, sleeping better at night, and feeling pretty well rested during the day.

Tonight I fell asleep in about 15 minutes. I was just starting to have a weird dream about something I can't really recall when we were awoken by a loud and aggressive banging on our bedroom window. Well, Sarah awoke to banging. I awoke to banging and Sarah hyperventilating while trying to wake up and scream about intruders at the same time.

I jumped out of bed and started swinging my arms wildly at shadows and kicking Barney awake and turning on all the lights in and outside house and assuring Sarah that it was nothing. Then I realized that it was just a local feral cat trying to get into our room from the outside. You know, incidentally, that you have a reputation for being nice people when the neighborhood pets resort to risking B & E charges just so they can live with you. Barney still hadn't woken up, and despite her screaming, I'm not entirely convinced Sarah had either, so I shut the lights off and tried to go back to sleep. I was, unfortunately, pretty amped up by that time, and also rested from my 'nap,' so a return to slumber was out of the question.

So I went out to the living room and ate some Cheetos and the rest of the 2 lbs of cherries we'd gotten earlier in the day. Long story short, I have stomach cramps, and it's 2:31 AM. I don't think there's a great chance that I'm going to feel rested when I wake up in a few hours. Then again, it's almost guaranteed that I'll sleep well tomorrow. How could I not? I'll be super tired, and my belly will super full from all the cat stew I'll have eaten.

think about the possibilities

2010-07-09T08:33:00.000-05:00

Two things of note happened today. First, the federal government finally deposited our tax refund and housing credit into our bank account. And it was only 5 months after I filed our taxes--good work people! Group hug!! Second, I paid off yet another student loan, which brings the grand total of education-related expenses for my and Sarah's educations to... drumroll please... approximately the cost of a lower-end luxury car! Just think, if we would have gone through 1-year technical training programs, we could be commuting to work together in a BRAND NEW (used) Acura (or similar). Oh well. Next time we'll know.

In all seriousness, I'm hoping that this will be the last one, and I'm glad to have paid them all off. On a side note, if anyone happens to have $86,000 lying around, I'd love to pay off the remaining balance on our mortgage. Or maybe buy a Land Rover.

thought of the day

2010-07-06T14:01:00.000-05:00

A true partypooper would probably end a party almost immediately.

we're baaaaack

2010-07-05T09:25:00.001-05:00

Over Utah

Dim Sum or Dim Yum? Oh no I didn't. Oh yes I did.

Just how cold is the water?

As it turns out, it wasn't the cold we should have been worried about.

Accidental yoga. About 1 second after this picture, I learned my feet could touch my head.

And all it took was a monster sand burn and a 10 foot wave.

It's safer over here at Little Corona.

Or is it? Too many creepers here.

Walt 0, me 1

Thinking about Walt

LA from Griffith Park

I like milkshakes. They smell nice.

300 feet above Orange County